beautifullybroken

Whisked Away..

2008-01-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

:) The new blog's all set up.

Pag stalker kita, magiging resourceful ka.

At mahahanap mo yun agad =)

Pero onti pa lang laman hihi

Pero stalker ka, kaya wala kang paki :))

Kasi labs na labs mo ko.

At wish mo rin na labs na labs kita.

Pero hindi talaga eh.

Kasi hindi kita kilala (?) lol

Okay lang yan.

BOOM.

♥yourlasthigh is the destination ;)

I love not doing anything =)

2008-01-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

Okay weird and not AT ALL good, BUT fun, baby!! =)
I mean, from time to time masarap 'yun nakatunganga ka lang. Naka-upo sa sofa. Stuffing your face with all the food that you can find in your refrigerator or pantry.. Owgaddddd. I love it.

don't you?
lol

Fate sometimes sucks.

2008-01-02T11:57:00.000-08:00

Fate really likes to play on me...
It makes me see things (and people) i don't want to see.
It brings up thoughts that i don't want to cross my mind.
It stirs up feelings i'm too damn tired to feel.

I hate coincidences that lead to hurting... =(

I can't let you go.

2007-12-23T03:46:00.000-08:00

Hindi ako maka-tulog all because of my stupid blog.

Hello?! Ang abnormal ko talaga kasi gumawa ako ng bagong blog and it's all made up at may laman na nga. But I only posted so that my new blog would have something in it. Kawawa naman kasi. Lol

But here's the thing, parang nagsisisi ako. I want to delete it. The new blog, i mean.

I would terribly miss my babyyyyyyyyyyy... This blog, i mean.

Kaso sayang naman 'yun layout. I spent hours on that layout. Fcuk.

Well kasi i had nothing to do ren naman, BUT STILLLLLLL. Sayang. hahaha

And besides, LOVE ko paren tong blog na toh.

You will always be my baby =) kahit na iniwan na kita.. Well not exactly but, you know.. lol

I sound so stupid again.

Uminom na naman ako mag-isa.

Damn Crazy.

Ang tapang pala ng Alize.

Sumakit ulo ko.

Heeh.

Fcuk taht.

Happy Slip

2007-12-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

CLICK ME!

try it...
Christine is so creative :)
...at some point you'll find it hilarious..heehee

watch vlog # 1 first to know the reason behind it...

Optimistic

2007-12-11T14:13:00.000-08:00

The people i hate now will eventually die anyway.

Every 18 minutes, some dies by suicide.

2007-12-10T01:43:00.000-08:00

every 19 minutes, someone is left to make sense of it.

gloomy sunday

2007-12-09T01:17:00.000-08:00

never listen to it...
i swear to god i'm losin' it..

I'm so fed up with EVERYTHING

2007-12-08T22:01:00.000-08:00

Fake people, lies, hell I'm fed up with LIFE.

And everytime the doctor asks me, "Can you be safe outside the hospital?" I answer, "yeah I guess"

But am I really?

Am I ever gonna be stable enough that I can be truly safe?

I want that more than anything. But I feel as if I'm running on a treadmill, exerting all my energy and giving it everything I got but getting nowhere.

And I'm tired. I want to quit. And someday I might. I don't know.

I'm not exactly suicidal.. but I'm definitely on the edge, I've been pushed right up onto that edge and I'm so close to falling off or maybe being forced to jump.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm running out of the energy it takes to resist killing myself. It takes energy you know, lots of it.

I can't say no much longer

I don't know how I've lasted this long.

I don't feel safe, not right now.

I'm at the point where I have nothing left to hold onto, nothing to keep me here.

And I'm scared. =(

I'm at my wits end.

I don't want to live.

It would be so much easier...

They say, words can kill a person...

2007-12-04T00:08:00.000-08:00

but really, i think it's the lack of words that kills

Die janelle, die.

2007-12-03T03:04:00.000-08:00

And i am aware its not the smartest thing to do. So you say "well then why do it?" because i don't care. I don't value my life and you can gasp and hem and haw. But i don't. I quite simply feel drained. Don't judge me. Please. Trust me when i say you have no idea. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. This is pointless.

I don't see a reason to continue living in this hell.

My whole world is a mess right now

2007-12-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

And no, i'm not just being a stupid emo teenager. Everything is going wrong. I'm not even going to explain. Period.

yumskyyyy :)

2007-10-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

click image for a better view hahaha

ayan mag-laway ka...

So there's this boy...

2007-10-26T00:50:00.000-07:00

He's my bestfriend, and my boyfriend. Every day i get to spend with him is the best day of my life. No one can make me smile quite like he does & I honestly have no clue what i would do without him. I doubt he will ever *truly* know just how much he means to me. <3

I want a boy--

2007-10-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

-- that will stay with me forever. He'll know you can never say I love you too many times, but he know's not to say it if he doesn't mean it with all his heart. He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt. He'll stay home with me to watch cinderella & he'll tell me he loved it even though he didn't. He'll call me at 4am. To only tell me that he loves me. He'll tell me that he couldn`t fall asleep because he was thinking about me & needed to hear my voice. He won't get embarrassed telling me he loves me in front of his friends. When I cry, he'll tell me I'm too beautiful, & kiss every tear. He always makes me feel better because he knows the most perfect things to say. All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll always talk about me. While we're walking, he'll pick up a flower for me. He'll tell me that I'm his little princess and treat me like one too. He'll love everything about me. He'll always end up laughing about silly fights that we won't be mad about. Even if I'm a million years old, I still get butterflies everytime he kisses me & he'll always tell me he'd die without me. He'll suprise me with a teddy bear when I'm having a bad day. He's interested in everything I say & always cares. He won't stop playin games 'til he won me the red teddy bear. He'll take walks with me in the snow & catch snow flakes on our tongues. Everytime I hear his name, it takes my breath away. And when I hear his voice, I fall in love all over again. But with him, I can never lose because everything about him is just so wonderful & perfect. I'll be his everything, and he'll be even more to me. He'll love me forever.

Crayola Bombs

2007-10-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

"Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with their imagination."

-Robert Fulghum

There are two kinds of secrets.

2007-10-22T04:12:00.000-07:00

those we keep from others and those we hide from ourselves...

Another sleepless night

2007-10-21T03:16:00.000-07:00

I was thinking the whole night that a sadist lurking outside my bedroom door will kidnap me while i'm asleep... And i will be tortured the next day by, say, a series of chains hooked into my flesh that must be ripped out to avoid a ticking time bomb OR will undergo an impromptu brain surgery involving a power drill OR will wake up hanging in a refrigerated room.. Naked!

Brrr. Chilly. All thanks to saw 3 and Micko.

Crap you.

Yeah.

2007-10-19T21:16:00.000-07:00

When someone you love abandons you, it doesn't hurt just because they've changed or lied or went back on their promises, but because you are reminded what a beautiful person they can be and they take that away from you and won't let you see that beautiful person again.

I guess nothing hurts more than having someone just decide to take your entire world away without consulting you first.

Where the hell did that come from..

2007-10-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

Sheeeeeeeeeeeet.
It's been like, what? 2months??..since my last post...
I missed you bloggggggggg :')

I just got home from the f-ing court. What I did there, shit. You won't believe it. hahahaha
I played basketball...duh! Haha
I played as if marunong ako... Sila Marc and Jino tawa ng tawa... Epal.
I had fun though :)

I want to have a sliding door inside my room.
Asides from my bedroom door... I want another door.
So I can smoke all I want there. I have been craving for that ever since we moved here. Di lang natutuloy because I've been a bad girl lately..oops.
hahaha kasalanan ko pa pala..
And heck.. May putang inang cigarette butt na nahulog sa rooftop tabi ng room ko. Wow. Bless me, at hindi ko na yun maabot. Goodluck naman sa buhay mo, Ja.

My sister's been playing mom for the past few days.. Epallllllllllllll.
I don't get her. Parang menopause na ata. O baka dahil matandang-dalaga lang?
I don't know, really. But either way, masungit nga siya. Bossy. Plus she's doing all the decisions for me. Aba aba aba... Who f-ing told her that that's her job, aber? In case she doesn't notice, I'm perfectly sane to make my own decisions noh. And fyi, it's MY life. Janelle Gapasin's life, not HER life. So don't ever tell me what to f-ing do. Ugh.
She makes me sick.

My dad, on the other hand has been super duper sweet to me... Shet. What's wrong with the world?? Gulong-gulo ko sa kanila... At!!! Si daddy nagpapa-under kay ate. What the---
O diba.. San ka pa..

Nagnananay-nanayan yun isa dito... Hmmm...
Well, know what? I can't wait 'til you go to Paris. I don't hell care how long you're going to stay there. Whether it'd be a day or a decade, wala akong pake. Just go and leave. I think I'm more happy that way.

i have this BOX where my heart used to be...

2007-08-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

It feels like, I've gone from that point to this point. Now I'm back from that point...going to...I'm not sure where...
Tangina. Pa-ikot ikot lang ako. I should have known.
But my stupid self insisted that, No. Hindi ka na babalik sa dati.

All I'm asking is
Lord God,
PLEASE enlighten my heart and mind. I'm so tired in dealing with this kind of situation. If this is Your way of making me give up, well, I don't think I'm ready to. Ang tanga tanga ko na. You know so well that I never learn from my mistakes. Ibahin Mo na ko.
If I can't stay away from them, sila na mismo ilayo Mo sakin.
I know it's too early for this prayer to You, Lord God. But I think we both know what might happen soon.

I'm scared :'(

I ask You to give me strength. I'm too fragile.
I'm already broken. Please don't make me worse.

Thank You for giving me Myk.
He's one BIG reason why I haven't pried my tonsils out of my throat :
I just pray that he's going to be my last bestfriend.
I'm tired of having to find a new one just because I want one. Which sucks because it only proves that I'm afraid to be alone :'(

Please and Thank You.
Amen.

It's not a "thing". So don't take it if you're just going to use it.

Ugh. Sick.

This is not right

2007-07-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

Sarah called to say that she will not be seeing me on Sunday because she's going out with the f-ing HALLELUYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jema...
...before Sarah leaves on Monday morning.... ='(

...and i don't know when she's coming back...

I just feel like my heart turned into a toe that grew an ingrown the size of a blackboard eraser.
Owwwww.

I wish my heart turned into a rock. Parang gago lang.
People always put me aside and choose unworthy assholes over me. But I never whined. Well, not to their faces. I just swallow the heavy bag of tears just before they fall and put on a big SMILE and say, "It's okay" even if it's not.
I'm very good at hiding emotions...because I suck when I let them show... It's like, wow, all uhog and luha.
Only this time, I couldn't hold them in...I felt this familiar warm liquid coming from my eyes trickling down my cheeks...BUTI NALANG I WAS ON THE PHONE LANG!!! Sarah didn't see me crying. She didn't even notice the sudden change in my voice. Then she hung up before I could even say "I'm going to miss you..."

After my crying-my-heart-out moment, f-ing Jema called to f-ing apologize. She was blabbering about how it was quite a sudden plan and how it sucks that I can't join them. Tapos biglang may hinabol na sinabi, "Kaw kasi eh. Dapat hinayaan mo na lang si Chino." MOTHERFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

NOW I F-ING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sarah thought I was the one who asked Chino to stay away from her. (Chino is her ex-boyfriend, by the way) Now she's all bitter because she's still f-ing in love with the bastard, who is now avoiding her like a plague.
I say...
Die and rot in hell.

Sarah, honey, please don't be stupid and try to recall the time when you asked Chino to "lay low". DUN PO YUN NAGSTART. I have nothing to do with it and now you're blaming me. You even chose to believe f-ing Jema over me.

Magsama kayo ni Navalta.

This is crap

2007-07-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

I have been cramming for 4 consecutive days just to study and do advance reading for nothing. Those professors ought to be jailed. They keep on announcing quizzes which never happens. Argh!!!
What a waste...of time...to sleep...waaa
I'm just so cranky these days...I want more sleep and more time to, well, SLEEP!!!!
I want it now and I want it bad.

Zune

2007-07-13T00:04:00.000-07:00

I WANT ONE. The wide LCD is to die for...that's it I guess...

And oh oh, one more thing. You can actually send tracks to other Zunes..

That, you can't do with Ipod. How cool is that.

My only problem is, magkano naman kaya toh? Goodluck to my bank account.

July 12, 2007...before Friday the 13th

2007-07-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

No Zoology for today :)

2007-07-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

I was in my complete school uniform when I arrived earlier in school only to find out that there's no Zoology prof...meaning, walang Zoology class...
I was pissed and ecstatic at the same time because going to school was a waste of time, uniform and gas, but it also meant GOING TO GATEWAY WITH MY BLOCKMATES :)
Funnnnnnnnn.
My whole entire class was there and even our irregular classmate, Paolo, was there too which was expected cause Zoology was his only subject for today...
Half of our class watched Harry Potter and the other half burned money at Timezone. I practically burned the Dance Dance Revolution floor...hahahaha My fucking feet hurt though. You try dancing with pumps on and see if your feet won't hurt. Dangness. Feet so sore feet so sore feet so sore
!!!
Sherrie bought some brain enhancer meds...the hell...I didn't know there's such thing!amf
I was looking for some nicotine patches but they didn't have it in Watsons. Corny!
Then went home...oh oh, we saw sir Jun Regala btw...hahaha
There. I'll go and get some sleep before I study for Heco...which sucks because I know I'll be too lazy to wake up just to study for Heco...
I know because...nothing.
I just know :)

Goodnight world

title...title..title...

2007-07-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

Nag-away na naman kami...palagi na lang...
Nakakapagod
argh.

Dapat talaga nagshut-up na lang ako. Init na nga ng ulo ko dumagdag pa. Alam na ngang di maganda mga sinasabi ko pag galit eh...

2007-07-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

ASAN ANG TITLE PER BLOG ENTRY??????
Waaaaa It's not working... ='(
sadness.

Navalta called. Nangamusta lang tas binaba na ren un phone kasi nagpapatawag daw girlfriend niya. NAMANNNN. Wala pa ngang 3mins eh...chaka he gets to talk to her whenever she likes pero pag ako...hindi pwede...kasi bestfriend lang naman ako...I get that. Pero kahit na tama lang 'yun, bakit parang mali pag nasasaktan na ko,,
ay...erase erase...hindi naman "nasasaktan"...I just feel so left out!!!
Sige na nga nasasaktan na...
waaaaaa NAVALTA PUNYETAHHHHHHHHHH
Magpaparamdam bigla tapos bitin. Fuck you.

Siguro hindi ko lang ikaw maintindihan talaga.
Pag-aralan ko nga pano ko igaganti yan sayo...

And you call yourself my bestfriend. Fuck you. Fuck you talaga.
Crap, Navalta. You suck.
You suck to the infinite power and you will always suck
!!!
I hate you.

This time I mean it.

2007-07-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

6th day pa lang. HELLOOOOOOOO...hindi pa ko umaabot ng 1week eh parang masisiraan na ko ng baet.
Eto pang si Brianne nagyayaya kanina!
"Self-control lang yan, Ja. Self-control!!!"
Grawr. Ang galing galing...hindi ako nagyosi.
Amen.

IT STARTS......

2007-07-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

.........NOW

Masarap...

2007-07-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Si Jela kasi kung ano anong tinatanong eh...rawr. Ayun. Nadisgrasya tuloy 'yung traysikel na sinasakyan niya...nabangga raw ng kotse at kalahati na ng katawan niya eh nasa labas. Kung hindi raw siya nakahawak sa tryk eh malamang dumirediretsyo na raw siya papalabas ng traysikel at nasagasaan ng mga dumadaang kotse. Amf!
Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..............................nakakatakot naman.
Eh pero hindi naman nangyare kaya, okay naman. Hahaha
May pa-sarap sarap pa kasing nalalaman eh. Ayan tuloy. Bakit daw kasi tinigil namin un pinag-uusapan namin. Dapat ata pinagusapan lang namin yon hanggang sa makarating siya ng bahay. Hanggang ngayon wala akong mahanap na koneksyon bakit pero ano naman?? Eh sa ganun talaga eh. May mga bagay talaga na hindi na kailangan pa hanapan ng rason...hinahayaan ko na lang si Jela, baka naman...hmmm...ewan ko. Secret.
Wahahahahahaha ;p
Hindi nakakatuwa 'yung pinagusapan, pero hindi naman ako nagalit, nainis, napikon o kung ano pa man. Basta hindi lang ako natuwa.
NABULABOG LANG AKO.
Pero kahit na ganun, eh ayos naman dahil marami ren naman akong nalaman at natutunan. Isa talagang "ate" si Jela sa akin. NGUNIT!!! Hindi ko siya tatawagin na ate. Baka mautusan pa ko nun. Hahaha at hindi bagay na tawagin ko siyang ate. Parang...cheap! hahahaha

'Yun na. Tinulugan naren naman ako. Dun nagtapos.

HAY SALAMAT

Pag natuloy pa un usapan na 'yon sa eskwelahan. Tae.
Uwi na ko. hahahahah

*Aral na ko Zoology*

ooh..mamayedobapbareba...

2007-07-02T02:07:00.000-07:00

i miss grandma...
i miss everything about her..i miss her...
her croaky voice when she tries to sing to me and then coughs a little..stops..coughs again and then continues singing...
her balikbayan boxes full of chocolates and candies with a pair of kick-ass stilletos or pumps in it sent here when it's almost halloween...
her long distance phone calls just to ask me to sing to her...
her soft, warm hand...
her fragile body...
her "apo, you're God's gift to me" every single hour...
her hug...
her watery eyes...
her silver gray hair...
her stare...
her taste in clothes, shoes, accessories...whatever...i love it
her chocolate drink...ewan ko ba..may gayuma kaya un?hehe
her soapy, powdery smell...
her stories about her and grandpa...how they met..how she loves him..how she tells me that her world would've never been the same if she never met grandpa...
her kissing me on my forehead and how it never fails to make me cry (because i'm so emotional..hehehe)
her saying "take care of you're dad. he keeps on forgetting to take his medicines. tsk tsk tsk...that boy..."
her scratching my scalp before i go to bed...

and a lot more...

i miss her...
='(

i love you, ma

i would do anything just to bring back my memory to remember you in heaven...but if i can't and i saw that familiar face...i'd run and hug you anyway, even if you're already a stranger...
='(

The lea and patur conflict

2007-06-29T23:58:00.000-07:00

...and their away bati relationship...

I was with Pao at BK, erod this morning. I love him :)
But he was soooooooooooo kulit. Damn. Wala nang tatalo sa kakulitan nun. rawr.
He took my pen and wrote down unnecessary words into my Zoology reviewers..took the pen and erased them..he took it again and wrote more words just to be a pain. But whatever. Even if he's a pain in the ass, he's the pain in my ass...I guess that makes it okay.amf.wahahahaha

My block met the new math professor. TERROR!!! I hate math and I'm hating it even more with the help of the new prof. CRAP YOU!!!
Psychology was a blast. The topics were...uhm...R18. hahahaha but whatever. Sabi naman nila mukha akong 18 eh. Okay na yun. hahaha
English was...english. She gave us a homework. Boring. That subject just makes me want to snooze until it's 4:30pm.

TDT Orientation c/o Coach Hazel and the TDT officers.
We met the very pretty but gay external PRO, Jeilo.
Yes, his name's Jeilo. Don't you just love it? She, I mean he's sooooo pretty. hahahaha
Watched the past TDT and Bronco's Pep Squad's competitions and concerts. I loved it :)

Went to Eastwood with Frances, in the hope of finding Lea and Patrick there. When we got there, I called Lea and asked where she was...aba ang magaling na babae nasa Katipunan pa...alriiiight.
Frances and I bought a pack of Dunhill and sat outside Coffee Beanery...we tried to study. I couldn't concentrate, of course. So I decided to finish the whole pack of cigarettes nalang. Studying in Eastwood is pointless. rawr. So is smoking, i know. But whatever. I can't help it.
After a few more minutes, i text messaged Lea, "babes lea, san na kayo?"...message sent.
Smoked a few more cigarettes then saw Lea and Patrick...I checked my phone and saw Lea's message, "dito na eastwood but i can't meet you guys. not now."
Kaya pala linampasan nila kami.
.......

Lea and Patrick went to where we were...Hugged Lea which I think took forever...Then sat down.

FAST FORWARD.

Called Pao because Lea didn't have any idea on how she was going home
!!!!!
whattabout.
I asked Pao to take her home and he said, okay :)
Oh he's such a life saver...

FAST FORWARD.

Rode a cab on my way home. Alone. Was scared. Hell yeah scared. hahahaha
oh oh, before we left, we saw....jarannnnnnnn...Iñigo.
hahahaha
Go Franny :)

There. My day ends there. I am soooooooo wasted.
Good night world

Trinity Dance Troupe and Pep Squad

2007-06-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

hindi planado...
well, yeah, planado but hindi planado...gets?hahahaha
i'm sooooooooo happy!!!
didn't expect to pass because i'm so unprepared! pumunta pa ko dun ng naka-jeans, and take note, skinny jeans pa. (yes, people, nagkasya na sakin ung mga skinny jeans ko na dating hindi...wahahahaha!!! double celebration ;p) naka-tsinelas nga ren pala ako nun. whatabout! kapal ng mukha to go there dressed like that kahit na sinabi na nga nung guy, whom we later found out is ung internal pro ng TDT, na strictly no jeans, no slippers, only sweatpants/jogging pants/jazz pants and rubbershoes...ayun.kapal ko talaga.hahaha
humingi ng auditions form ba yun?tapos lumabas ulit..nag fill in nung form at lumakbay pa all the way to the other side of the gym para lang magwashroom kasi magchchange ng clothes ang mga magagaling na magauauditions daw pero naka jeans.hahaha
ayun. at least frances and I changed. kasi oonga pala, nakajeans din si franny. pero at least she's wearing sneakers and not slippers. unlike ung isang kasama niya...na si...ako pala yun.hahaha
anyway, ayun...nagfree dance lang.ung first part lang nung song ung choreographed c/o coach JM.tapos nawala na sa isip ko ung iba...so sumayaw na lang ako ng...uhm...wala lang. basta sumayaw. ayun na yon.
ang haba ng blog entry na toh. amf.
basta, to cut it short...ayun nga...
WE PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
o ha, san ka pa...ayun lang.

sabi ko lang san ka pa. bakit?
okay. nagwatch pa yung blockmates ko. tama ba 'yun?masamaaaaaaa
si brianne nagtatampo kasi wala daw siya nun at hindi ako nakita kasi siya lang daw ang may hindi alam na magauauditions ako nun.amf
kapal eh.kala mo kung sino para kailangan eh malaman niya lahat.hahaha sira ulo nun.tae xa.

yun lang.
namimiss ko na si paopao.rawrrrrrrrr

@ Izel's dorm

2007-06-26T00:42:00.000-07:00

Muntik na ko magcommute kanina!!!! eh syempre ayaw ren naman ni ate na magcommute ako...pati lahat ng tinanungan ko ng directions nagaalala sakin.ayun. ang magaling na prinsesa eh sinundo ren ni ate.hahaha aylovit!!!rawr.

after BK ng 1nu27...umalis na yung iba kasi magccommute pa tapos umaambon pa...ayun. kami ni Izel, went straight dun sa dorm niya and on our way there syempre ang pinaguusapan namin eh...jarannnnn...ung boys niya.hahahaha pero siyempre meron din un akin. pero isa lang. isa lang naman talaga eh. ayun nga. syempre, naiinis DAW siya sa boyfriend niya kasi nga daw may gut feeling siya na niloloko siya. aba. pano ba naman eh nasa Laguna pa ung boyfriend...kasama yung ex gf na close friend ni Izel na fnlirt ata ung bf ni Izel para maging sila habang cool off si Izel at Francis.whatabout.tas binalikan pa ni Izel. tanong pa siya ng tanong, "tanga ba ko para balikan siya?"...sumagot naman ako ng "oo"...eh pero mahal daw talaga niya. edi OLRAYYTTTT. wala na ko masasabi dun. ganun talaga eh.hahaha
natuwa naman ako at nagopen up siya sakin. parang hindi ko pa kaya yun ganun...para kasing hanggang ngayon natatakot paren akong magtrust sa mga tao. sa hayop na lang. amf.
HINDI.
hindi naman natatakot...nagdadalawang isip lang...kumbaga, naninigurado...hindi dahil takot pero kasi...alam mo yun. overprotective sa sarili...ampucha...TAKOT NGA AKO.

bakit ba kasiiiiii....
ayoko na. enough.

back to the UBEhan with Izel, ayun nga...nakwento ren niya yung mga "errold chuva"...hahaha errold chuva amfufu...parang ginawa ko namang bakla si errold...well eto na people, hindi siya bakla. ;p
ayun. nakwento nga niya tas okay naman. na-enlighten ako sa mga facts na...ewan ko. nakakatuwa ba or talagang naNR lang ako nun at nagpakaplastik at nagreact paren?...parang ganun ata..ewan.hahaha
ang labo ko magblog these days.tama na nga muna.

loser entry.

babes...

2007-05-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

I LOVE YOU ♥

-UNTITLED-

2007-05-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday came crashing through
Underneath the falling skies
I see no mistake in loving you
until there's no love left for me
In giving you my whole world
From the torn and broken pieces
of what's left for me to do
It came crashing through...

I never knew you would leave me out there falling
How can you see and not feel?
How can you hear and not understand?
Suddenly all the words don't seem right
It hurts that you don't want me loving you
When it is all I ever do

It tore me up to see someone
Right beside you where I used to stand
How do you escape this thing?
How do you get away from the feeling?
How can I cease this terrible pain
Only felt where my heart used to be
For you have taken it
When it first belonged to me

I don't mind loving you...
I just wish the pain away...
'Cause until it ends...
With you is where I want to stay.......

When it rains...it fucking pours

2007-05-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

I am pissed off due to a million reasons...

MOM: Pinalipat na kita ng BS Chemistry
ME: WHAT?!?! Why??
MOM: Mas madadalian kang...blahblahblahblah...

I couldn't hear the rest of it...the thought of studying in the course I never ever thought I would take made me deaf to my mom's words. She has got to be kidding me.
A lot happened and so I went to my room, slammed the door shut in this very VERY LOUD way that I worried for a sec if I ruined it, then wailed and wailed and well...wailed. What was I to do? I was afraid to shout at my mom because I might say words that may hurt her because at that moment I was hurt so so so so so BAD. I threw things in my room and then fixed them right after. I moved a few things around just to get my mind off the matter.
Pfft. Who was I kidding?! I can't get the fucking BS Chemistry off my mind.

Rehearsals of the STAGES production makes me sick like hell.
I quit.

Enough said.

I can't move. My body is tired.
Goodbye to all the workouts. Or not. Well, goodbye for now.

I never knew our next door neighbor plays a kick-ass drums. He plays kick-ass alright but the noise he makes made me want to KICK HIS ASS OUT THE PAVED STREET AND SHOVE THE DRUMSTICKS RIGHT UP HIS ASSHOLE SO HE CAN STOP ACTING LIKE HE'S A TEENAGE JUVENILE. Ugh. As if!

I cannnnnnn't sleep.

Why?

2007-04-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

I finally get to do what I love to do...

This is my forte...

This is my passion...

But why am I NOT happy?

Happy 1st Anniversary!!!

2007-04-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

To my blog =)
Woot! Woot!

Nothing New

2007-04-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

I miss you blog!!!
I haven't updated you for a loooong while. Well, I was uhm..not in the mood. A lot has happened but I just couldn't make my LAZY self to put them into words and type it here.
The truth? Argh. It's boring.
I was just stuck in the house. Pretty much did nothing. Waaaa :(( I am going to lose it.

Some of the days I spent with my friends:
April 14, 2007- Watched the last full show of "The Reaping" with Garettes, Maya & Sarah at Eastwood City Walk. We ate dinner inside the movie house because it was almost 10:40pm when we bought our tickets and the movie starts at 11:00pm, so there. Good thing I already ate before leaving the house. I took the time to eat dinner while waiting for them to wake up from their very, very long nap. It was such a riot when they all woke up because it was already 8:30pm. They trashed my bedroom with their clothes, shoes, make-up and accessories. Homayged.
Anyway, right after the movie we went straight to Decades @ Tomas Morato. My girlfriends ordered a LOT of alcoholic beverages and got me drinking until every bottle was empty even though I kept on saying, "Tama naaaaa. I am sooooo tipsyyyyy." (in this very lasing way so they would stop shoving glass after glass right up my face) But they were all like, "Jaaaaa. We'll all finish theeeeese. Kaya pa yaaaaan." You can guess. We were all very much drunk. Good thing Maya's driver was there because honestly, I don't have a clue how the hell we were going home like that.
April 15, 2007- Woke up on Maya's bed. It was so big, we all fit on it. As usual, I was the earliest to wake up because papa's driver was going to pick me up early there so I can attend the morning mass in Filinvest 2.
After the mass, I went home and ate lots and lots of ice cream. Expect me to throw up afterwards :D
April 16, 2007- Kats, Raia, Patsy, Isha and Bea went to my house and camped in front of our tv set to have a horror dvd marathon. The girls made sure that they scream for a good measure and make a loud noise on each movie. When the fourth dvd was played, everyone had they're own world already. Patsy was in front of the computer, mercilessly typing on my computer keyboard. Bea was beside her painting her toenails and she announced that Patsy was just chatting with her boyfriend. Wellllllllllllllllll, okay. Raia was already asleep on the table. Yes. She fell asleep ON THE TABLE. Isha, Kats and I were the only ones who were watching the movie. I think I was the 2nd to fall asleep because when I woke up the next day, the sun was already shining brightly and I was still on the same beanbag that I was sitting on the other night. Argh. But Patsy was worse and funnier. I found her sleeping on the chair right in front of the computer, which was still on.
After having breakfast, they all went home. YES!!! I can sleep now on my cozy bed :)
April 17, 2007- I celebrate too soon. The Circle of B's decided to go to my house and pig out. NO, SERIOUSLY. They just wanted to eat and well, mess up my house. Raarrr.
Oh by the way, I beat Ryan in wrestling. Well, the truth is he let me win. hahaha It's a good thing though. I won 500 bucks for that. Hah! Loser. But I love him just the same. Thanks for the 500 bucks, guys :D

Aaaaaand after that, my life was back to the usual. Getting stuck at home, being bored like hell and doing nothing but eat, sleep, surf the net and then eat, sleep again. DARN.

It Is Ok

2007-04-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

It is a victory, not a failure, to admit my problems, acknowledge any wrong i've done, and turn to a Higher Power for help.
It is healthy to accept and love myself, and let others love me for who I am worthy of respect and love.
It is okay to trust myself and others. I can be responsible for myself, just as others can be responsible for themselves.
It is possible for me to be happy, since happiness depends on myself and my attitude, not on other people or on things.
It is possible for me to change if I set realistic goals: I can reach them one step at a time and one day at a time.
I can't do everything, or everything perfectly, but I can do something. If I fail, it's okay. There's no failure except in not trying.
It's alright to set limits to keep my sanity and serenity. It's okay to let things go that cannot be changed, or that does not matter.

Bayanihan Class Party

2007-04-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry kung super gulo ng pagkwento but like, super may hangover pa ko from last night's inuman. Ang perky ng feeling ko ngayon and like hindi pa ko nakakatulog ng matino kasi nagpapalpitate ung puso ko right after ng first stick ko ng yosi, mygahhhd. Pero wala akong ma-feel na antok! Nakakapagod and at the same time, nakakatuwa!! Hahaha so happy :D
Anyway, 'yun nga. About sa last night, ayun. May class party ung Bayanihan '07 yesterday kila Ella, the ever-loving-class-president-she's-the-best-i-just-want-to-hug-her-forever!! There.
WAIT. Hindi pa tapos ung kwento. Hihi
So, the party started at 4:00pm pero I came late, not because I was feeling and pa-star which is pwede pero I have a very good excuse so medyo hindi ren. Ayun nga kasi, galing ako sa house nila mama&papa sa Alabang house kasi biglaan ung cousins ko with their, "Swimming tayo kila mama!!! Lahat pupunta, hindi pwedeng hindi." So I was like, okayyy. No choice so pumunta na ko. At nagbabad lang naman kami parang ewan. Umitim tuloy ako lalo. Argh. Tapos ayaw pa ko paalisin nila kasi ang KJ(killjoy un for those who doesn't understand baduy abbreviations) ko daw! wtf. I was like, "Hello?? Tinotopak na ba kayo? I have a party to go to, noh!" Tapos after a million explanations, chaka pa lang ako pinaalis ng mga hinayupak. So syempre naligo, nagbihis at nagayos pa ko, lintek. At galing ako sa Alabang so, ayun. Na-late nga ako. I arrived at Ella's mga 5:30pm na ata un. Pero okay lang kasi medyo konti pa lang naman ung mga tao nun. Pero nung gabi na talaga, siguro mga apat na tao nalang ung dumating. So like, konti lang talaga ung pumunta. Nevertheless, super saya pa ren. I was with Bayanihan naman kasi so, it really feels like home kahit corny, oo na. Pero totoo. :) Pati ang ingay!!! Takte. Asa kabilang kalye na ko rinig ko pa ren ung ingay. As in ung kantahan, ung usapan, tawanan at kung anu-ano pang nagccause nung ingay. So parang marami ung tao. Kaya nga masaya ngaaa!!
Tapos, may na-amin ako kay Jed habang nasa loo si niña (di naman masyadong detailed?! Sensya na, may hangover nga eh.) O ayun, na-amin ko nga tungkol sa isang batchmate namin na dati pa niya kinukulit sakin na sabihin ko na kung sino pero di ko sinasabi kasi ayaw ko mag-gossip. Pero since, graduate na, okay na yun. Hahaha Nasabi ko na eh. Hihi Tapos habang naguusap kami ni Jed, well more like nagchichismisan, nagyaya sila Mariz and Betsy na mag-"jogging". The term mga chong. Halurr?! Pagkalabas namin hagang sa nakabalik na kami kila Ella, naglakad lang kami. AS IN. In this very mabagal way pa kasi si Betsy, ung nagyaya na mag-"jogging" eh napaka ubod ng tagal. (o diba? "napaka" na nga, "ubod" pa.) Kasama nga pala namin nila Mur and Betsy si Niña, naglakad kami papunta sa Brewing Point, ang meeting place ng bayan. Wala naman kami masyadong ginawa dun. Nagyosi lang tas nag-order ng one glass ng ice coffee. Isa lang kasi nakalimutan namin lahat magdala ng wallet, buti na lang may 86pesos si Mariz sa pocket, ayun. Tapos bumalik na kami. Kakaupo ko lang sa upuan (malamang!) nagyaya naman si Rosie na magyosi. Anak ng. Ba't naman kasi hindi pa siya sumama kanina?! So lumabas nga kami kasama si Mur. Nagpunta kami sa Pearl street at umupo sa harap ng super ganda na bahay. Dapat kasi sa court kami kaso sarado na ung ilaw. So dun na lang kami sa street across the court. Hehe Astig ren naman kasi UBEhan to the max kami dun. Isang oras din ata kami nagdadaldalan dun and I must say, ang dami, dami, DAMI ko talagang nalaman. Mga lintek talaga. Kung kelan grumaduate chaka naglabasan lahat ah. Pati ang dami ko ren nalaman na batchmates na may bisyo ren na sobrang di ko inakala!! Totoo nga na ang mga tahimik na tao nasa loob ang kulo. Ayun na 'yon.
So after nun bumalik na sa bahay ni Ella, kaso pag balik namin pa-uwi na si Mrs. & Mr. Ben! I will super duper miss Mrs. Ben. Syempre pati na ren si Mr. Ben. Sayang 'di dinala ni Mrs. & Mr. Ben si Ben, ung panganay nila na anak. Heehee (The Ben Family) Pati pala si Hector!! Ung sumunod kay Ben. Super cute ng kids ni Mrs. Ben as in! O anyway, ayun na nga. Umalis na sila tapos eto namang si Betsy, may kausap dun sa front porch nila Ella, at sumisigaw siya. As in sobrang lakas, parang kala mo nasa kabilang subdi ung kausap niya. Syempre sobra ang pagtataka at pagaalala namin lahat dun noh kasi naman nabubulabog na ang buong sambayanan sa lakas ng boses ni Betsy at ang pagmumura grabe mehn. Parang wala nang bukas. Kakatakot. So 'yun, nalaman nga namin after kung sino 'yun at sobrang obvious na ren naman kahit na hindi niya sinabi noh.
Tapos naguwian naren ung mga tao habang napapasarap na ung kwentuhan namin dun. Until umalis na ren si Betsy tapos biglang may after Class Party inuman pa pala, so nagpaalam ako na wag na ko sunduin dun kila Ella.
Diretsyo na sa Grilla, Royal Place with Niña, Lia and Nikka. Nauna na dun sila Mur, Jed and Crown. At syempre nagmake-up pa kami dun sa baba diba naman dahil mukha paren kaming bata at baka hindi servan. Pero good thing, sinervan naman kami. Pero ung lalaking waiter, whom we later found out na babae pala, eh nag-ask all of a sudden kung sino samin ung below 18. Lahat kami sabay sabay turo kay Mariz. Hahahaha :)) Super funny. Pero eto pa un eh. Pinapainom namin si Mariz pag di nakatingin ung waiter na tibo. After pa ng inuman, si Mariz ung pinaka-lasing. Oh, wait mali. Siya lang pala ung nalasing. :)) Talagang siya pa eh. Buti hindi naman nahalata nung mga tao dun kasi lahat kami maingay. Although wala paren talagang tatalo sa kadaldalan ni Mariz. Kakaloka ang lola mo. Di na tumigil kakasalita at ang kanyang mga hirit, pwede ba?! I'm like, shut up na Mur. Pero ayaw magpaawat eh, talagang tuloy tuloy pa ren sa pagsasalita. Mygawwd.
Eto pa super fun talaga kasi nung mejo may tama na ren nga ako, bigla kaming nagdecide ni Nikka na makiki-jam ako dun sa band na nagpplay. So like sinulat ung name ko sa tissue paper (how very bar-ish) tapos the gay lead singer kept on saying, "Mamaya tatawagin natin si Ja." Like, 3 times pa niya ata un sinabi. Ang irritating na kasi bigla ako kinabahan. Waa. Pero super fun kasi pagkapunta ko sa stage wala pa kong song in mind so sabi ko, pwede ba ko pumili muna dun sa clearbook na dala nila. Pero may kinanta sakin ung gay lead singer na mejo alam ko at mejo hindi ren, so um-oo na ko kasi I didn't want to keep the audience waiting. Nakakahiya. Nakiki-jam na nga lang ako tapos ang tagal pa diba? So kinanta ko na, with a copy. Nung umpisa alam na alam ko kala mo kung sino ako, tapos nung nagchorus na, hindi ko na alam :)) Hahahahahahah So kumakanta ren ung lead singer pag di na ko kumakanta. Hihi. Feeling ko tuloy banda ko lang 'yun. After nun pinakanta ako ulit ng isa pang kanta na NEVER kong na-imagine na kakantahin ko in public, as in ung in front of a crowd on a stage. Pinakanta ako ng "Hawak Kamay" ni Yeng Constantino. Di ko naman hate ung song pero, nakakasira ng reputasyon :)) No offense to Yeng. Super nice ung song, okay? Ayoko lang na ako ung kakanta. Pero nakanta ko na, so ayun na. Hihi Super saya paren kasi ang iingay nila Mur habang kumakanta ako as in tili ng tili. Lumipat pa kasi sila dun sa pinakaharap na table tapos nagsisisigaw sila dun. Sabi nga nung lead singer nung band, "Wow, may fans club ka pa." I was like, "Syempre!" Tas when the song ended, super saya ko na kasi na-realize ko na super wala akong kaba na nafeel while I was performing. Super sarap ng feeling. At masaya ren ako kasi natapos na nga ang pagpapahiya ko sa sarili ko. Haha After ko, it was Nikka's turn. Di naman siya dapat kakanta kasi ang usapan nga ako lang pero super gusto namin siya mag-sing so vinolunteer namin siya. She sang "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys. We were all like, super galing Nikka!! clap clap clap. :D
After nun nag-pay na kami ng bill, scratched our elbows because according to Jed, pag daw ginawa un hindi daw papagalitan ng parents Hahaha :)) We were desperate so nagpa-uto na kami. Then we all went home na.
I got home siguro mga 2:30am na kasi we left Grilla at 2:00am eh. Super sakit na talaga ng ulo ko by the time that I got home. Buti nalang I threw up before going home kung hindi, nakow. Si Ja may tama na naman, and like super mapapagalitan na naman ako. Hey, the scratch-your-elbow-para-di-mapagalitan thing na pina-uso ni Jed actually worked. Hahaha :))

My day ends there. At sobrang hangover paren talaga ako, di lang sa lintek na tequilla na yun pero dun din sa nangyare. As in ung party and those last minute bonding sessions. Ganun. Super saya. I didn't expect it to be super fun. Hayyyyy.
Eto lang naman talaga 'yung gusto kong sabihin simula kanina pa:
"I WILL MISS IV-BAYANIHAN '07" Love you guys!!!!! *kissy kissy and huggy buggies for you all!!!!!! :D

I miss my [family]

2007-03-31T13:44:00.000-07:00

w/ my two daughters(Mariz & Starr) and granddaughter(Jebeh)

from Lea

2007-03-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

"don't let your world revolve around one person because if that person decides to be someone else's orbit, you're going to be left revolving wrecklessly alone."

Ang lungkot.

Ang Kasamaan ng Pagpupuyat

2007-03-29T00:58:00.000-07:00

Kanina, bago matulog, nakita ko na naman ang kanyang sulat.
Pano ba namang hindi, eh sadyang nakadisplay ito sa lamesang nakapuwesto sa dulo ng aking kama.
Ang sulat ay may mahigit na isang taon nang nakaraan nang ito ay naisulat at hanggang ngayon, isang beses ko pa lang iyon nabasa simula nang iyon ay aking natanggap. Sa tuwing ito ay aking nakikita, may halong tuwa, kilig at kaba ang aking nadarama.

Tuwa, dahil ito ay nanggaling sa kanya.

Kilig, dahil ito ay nanggaling sa kanya.

At kaba, dahil ito ay nanggaling sa kanya.

Kinuha ko ang sulat habang nagtatalo ang aking isipan kung ito ba ay aking babasahin muli o hindi.
Isang malakas na batok ang aking natamo mula kay Micko. Sukdulang napakalakas ng kanyang pagkabatok na ako'y nauntog sa dulong kahoy ng aking kama. Napuno ng bituin at constellations ang aking kuwarto sa tindi ng hilo na aking naramdaman. As in parang outerspace!
Malaking pasasalamat na lang at binawi ng aking mga magulang ang kanilang sinabi na si Micko ang ipinangakong lalaki sa akin, kung hindi, battered-wife ang abot ko sa kanya. Grabe, ang brutal.
Pagkatapos ko makakita ng mga bituin, si Micko ay nagsalita, "Basahin mo na kung babasahin mo. Hindi 'yung gabi gabi na lang tinititigan mo 'yan. Nagpapakatanga ka sa isang sulat!"
Maryosep. Tama ang brutal na lalaki.
Tumigil ka, gaga, isa lang 'yang sulat.
Kaya binuksan ko naman ang sulat at nagsimulang magbasa. Pagkadating sa dulo kung nasaan ang kanyang nakapirmang pangalan, ang mata ko ay sukdulang magang maga na.
Ito ang kinatatakutan ko sa pagbasa ng kanyang sulat. Hindi ang pag-iyak kundi ang magiging rason ng aking pag-iyak.
Ako ay nakaramdam ng matinding panghihinayang at pagsisisi (hindi ba't magkapareho lang 'yun?). Mukhang hanggang dito na lang dahil ito ay isa sa mga maraming kamalian na malabo nang maayos.
Kaya pinunasan ko ang aking mga mata at mukha na nagmistulang swimming pool ng luha, lumabas sa veranda at nagyosi.
Ngunit anak ng! Ayaw magpaawat ng mga namamaga kong mga mata at tuluyan itong lumuha, dahil alam kong kahit na ilang yosi ang hithitin ko, hindi ko na maibabalik ang dati niyang nararamdaman para sa akin.

Nang dahil sa sulat, nawasak na naman ang buhay ko.

Nang dahil sa sulat, nawala na naman ako sa aking sarili.

Nang dahil sa sulat, naramdaman ko na mahal ko parin pala siya.

Nang dahil lang sa sulat.

I miss ate Minmin

2007-03-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

From: Ms. Lagud's blog
Published on: July 24, 2004
Title: i love...

i love my advisory class. i love the 50 souls under the section II-Banaag, schoolyear 2004-2005. they may get to the nerves of most teachers because they say they're difficult to discipline, but i don't know why i understand them. i sometimes fear that it may be because i don't know how to get mad and i'm tolerating their misbehavior but i think they're really not as bad as they seem to be. you just have to get their attention, make them realize that you understand them and then connect with them -- ika nga, kunin ang loob nila. (haay, one more week before the start of my classes in moving from childhood to adulthood, 'hope i'll really get to learn more about teens these days) i just wish that whenever the teachers complain about them -- "haay, ang ingay ng Banaag!", "yang si __ kausapin mo ha, ganito na naman ang ginawa", "disaster na naman ang Banaag"; they also remember how they did when they had their retreat. i was so proud of them then. they gave their best at the celebration of the Mass... what a beautiful rendition of Panunumpa during Communion! as gratitude to their parents, they prepared a wonderful presentation. they remembered to thank me and gave me flowers too :) i hope that the teachers keep in mind too that they are capable of winning (e.g. in the poster-making contest, in a group activity in one of the level talks) hehe, i thus always remember the words: "he has the face only a mother can love." others may call them the worst bunch of sophomores, but i'll always be there for them :) i just hope that even after this year, or their high school graduation, or their college graduation, or 10/20/50 or so years from now, they'll still remember me, because i will always have a special place in my heart for them :)

Aww!!!! Same goes here Ms. Lagud. II-Banaag extremely misses you!
btw, thanks for the round thingy for the ID..it's soooo sweet and touching.
love you ms!!!

It's not about you. It's about them.

2007-03-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, March 27, 2007, I have witnessed a very dramatic hostage-taking by a man who was asking for education for the children who are penniless. He took over a bus with 154 innocent children in it and mercilessly put their lives at risk. I cannot believe how selfish a man like him could get but at the same time, his purpose for doing that stupid thing was for the sake of others and not just for him. He wanted to give those children education because as much as he wanted to help them financially just to send them to school, he does not have enough money to do so.
But engaging himself into a scandalous drama such as hostaging 154 INNOCENT (and for Pete's sake..) little children!! It's such a stupid, stupid thing to do, and no matter what his intention was, may it be for the children or whoever, it still is SELFISH.
I felt so bad for the little kids. Damn. Kawawa naman sila!!!!!!
At an early age they got traumatized. All because of that man's selfishness.
HE KNEW BONG REVILLA AND CHAVIT SINGSON!! So why in the world did he have to do that? He could've just asked for their help.
I hate him. I hate him so so so so soooooo much. Because I have a great care for little children. The ones they so often say who are, "Ang pag-asa ng bayan. Sakanila nakasalalay ang kinabukasan ng Pilipinas." All of those words are just words if they disrespect those little kid's poor innocent lives.
He could've done it in a better, more quiet and less scandalous way but he didn't.
I even watched the live news coverage from CNN. Not from a local TV station, even though the news was on every local channel. The other countries will see AGAIN how stupid we, Filipinos, are. Naku, nadamay nanaman tayo.

300

2007-03-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

From a very gay Multiply entry:

Aahaaay chorva!Di kinaya ng powers ko ang kahotness ng movieness na itetch! It's raining men! (haleluya)! like go go go mga anik anik at ang mga mudra mega taray ang haba ng hair production number clothing designer eklavu powerness! kaboom!It's like go papa spartans! go delisyus fighting karne! i get so weak on the knees i can't hardly breath go go go! spapartans make bugbog the evil persia! make warla the queen xerxes.

At antaray naman ng lolaaaaaa xerxes mooooooo! nagmamaasim ang fingerlets ng hinawakan si spapartan head papa! ang entrance pang vilma with matching solid gold dancers itetch! with diamente ala maricel! wiiinnneeeeeer! ang eye brows ha! mega shoot to the stratosphere sa katarayan!

Ang warlahan ditetch daig pa ang rineregla sa dami ng vlood! at ang nacut neck na cutie spartan...nag cryola aketch! di kinaya ng emoticons ko ang death by tamponess ng cutie spartan. huhuhu.

I'm sure proud si mother ricky dahil ang ganduuuuuuuuh talaga ng movieng itetch. like super mega walang halong chorva!

PERO LYER SILA! binilang ko ang mga papa...di umabot ng 300. 127 lang ang mga spapartans! etchos!=)) =)) =))

HAHAHAHAHAHA okayyyyyyy.

How gay can this movie review get?! =)) soooooooo fannnnyyyyy :))

E7ite RocksMyWorld

2007-03-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

I'm officially an Alumna of The School of the Holy Spirit of Quezon City!!! Yay!! Party Partaaaaay!!

"I did it I did it, oh yeah yeah yeah!!! No eating for tonight wooo eating for tonight! No no no eating for tonight! We're on a diet!"

Hahahaha :))

So so so HAPPY!!!!

Last night when we were singing our graduation songs, I looked at my batchmates and they were crying!!! Mygawwwd. I thought my feelings and emotions froze and my heart turned into a rock! Waaa.

But no. The truth is, I was just super duper happy!! Because, Hello??? Tonight is our graduation and that sooo means that we're sooo free!!

I must admit, leaving the school after the graduation rites last night was somewhat hard but I my stomach growled with emptiness, so I left. Hahaha But seriously, I miss my school and I will forever miss it :)

Oh yeah, when we were singing the School Hymn I suddenly fell from the platform/beam where I was standing on. Mygod!! So I just laughed and laughed and laughed the whole entire song and even after it I was still laughing. Good thing no one saw, I think, because no one commented on it. Hahaha I wonder if my boyfriend saw it. hmm? Shoot. It's so embarrassing.

Gagraduate na nga lang mahuhulog pa sa platform. Anak ng tepok nga naman...Arghhhh.

ooohh..VAINNNNNNNNN.

Who do they think they're fooling?!

2007-03-06T20:43:00.000-08:00

That assface told our CL teacher that we're not working together in the Social Doctrines project.
True.
She also said that she approached me TWICE.
False.
And she has already made the project.

What the teacher said?
"Yung project ni Rosa tatanggapin ko kasi nag-approach naman siya kay Ja. Pero 'yung project ni Ja hindi ko tatanggapin kung mag-isa niya 'yun ginawa."
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! That is downright favoritism right at our faces.

How stupid can that decision be? I mean, the 'other girl' clearly stated that she has already made the project. What the hell am I supposed to do?? Talk to her like there's no problem and tell her that, "Yeah, okay. Put OUR names in that project because I contributed a LOT!!"

Whatever. I passed the required project and if she does not want to accept it, then Good! If I get a failing grade in CL because of that, even better!

I am so sorry to say this but, I really can't believe that she became a teacher in the School of the Holy Spirit of Q.C. If she was in a public school, that I may believe, but in Holy?! My god!! Can she just stop pretending that she's such a good teacher?? Better yet, she can just quit her job. I don't think anybody in our batch thinks that she's soooooooo good. The world needs a miracle before that happens.

As for the 'other girl', STOP LYING and stop PRETENDING.
You try to show the people that you are such a fucking nice girl, but the truth is you are not.
You talk behind someone else's back, you lie about EVERYTHING, you steal girlfriends (yes, people. She is a lesbian.), and you irritate me!!!
Stop pretending that you're okay because it totally shows that you are not.

You're messing with the wrong girl.

Projects galore

2007-03-01T03:47:00.000-08:00

PHYSICS
Investigatory Project Oral Defense
March 2

CL
Social Doctrines
March 1

MUSIC
Finale
March 2

COMPUTER
Website design
March 12

ENGLISH
Social Action Paper
March 1

HEALTH
Research paper and reporting
March 1

TEENSTAR
Personal Response
March 9

Goodluck to me!!!
This is torture I tell you. It's torture!!!

my JTM speech

2007-02-21T23:32:00.000-08:00

ANOREXIA, it is an eating disorder where people starve themselves because they have an intense fear of becoming fat. It mainly affects adolescent girls who are very skinny but are convinced that they are overweight.
I have been with people who are suffering from anorexia and believe me, it is NOT a pretty sight to see skin and bones walking around you. They do not eat nor drink anything and I even heard one of them say, "Ayaw ko ng pagkain. Kadiri naman." They were unbelievable because they are skin and bones, right? And so, I am forced to swallow my hunger or else they would rant about how disgusting food is, or...or how fat they are, all day long. I could not convince them that they are NOT FAT because i'm telling you, if you were in my place, you would think that eating was a crime.
I think eating disorders are somewhat influential because after a year of being with my anorexic friends, I suffered from my own eating disorder which was bulimia.
In my own eating disorder, which I struggled with for five long months, my weight went up and down and all around. My suffering was VERY real and my distorted body image insisted I was fat. I was still eating, large amounts of food and then I would throw it all up secretly. But then I realized that this was a "no win" situation because no matter how hard you may try, you cannot ever be "done". Plus, there are a lot of medical risks associated with eating disorders that include: shrunken bones, irregular heartbeat, permanent failure of normal growth, development of osteoporosis, and a lot more.
Excessive dieting and too much conciousness of ones body size may lead to a case of eating disorder. Being concious and aware of your body is not bad but when it gets too much and you start abusing your body, that's the time when you should stop and think, "Am I really taking care of myself?"
You don't have to torture yourself. I mean, do you find people or girls who are skinny, I mean REALLY skinny, pretty?? What, with their bones out and everything...Well, you get the picture. I don't think so. So i think we should be aware of what we do to our body and really start taking care of ourselves, because be it cliche or not, it is still our inner selves that matters most.

how weird...

2007-02-19T19:24:00.000-08:00

Koko, walked up to me this morning and told me, "'Ja, ang ganda mo naman nung Friday.' from someone."

wtf

English Musical Play

2007-02-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

Today was incredibly tiring. Why? Well, try performing a musical play 5 consecutive times in front of 5 different audience that you have to impress because they will be judges for the broadway category.
But, whatever. The play was super duper fun and even though we commited a lot of mistakes and bloopers that were blatantly obvious to the audience, i can still say that it was really a success. Oh, and someone told me that we came in second place so even though we did not win, at least we're not the last placer. :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE CAST:

Cast A

Psyche- Angela Bascara

Cupid- Trixie Neri

Aphrodite- Janelle Gapasin

Zeus- Bettina Rodriguez

Eurydne- Lia Santos

Tanith- Nikka Ponce de Leon

Mother- Sharmaine Templado

Father- Eleonor Japzon

Hera- Francesca Dela Cruz

Apollo- Frances Magturo

Suitors-Angela Arguelles

- Jennifer Lopez

- Anna Ignacio

Ant- Patricia Talaue

Dancers- Pristine Fajardo

- Francesca Dela Cruz

- Patricia Talaue

Cast B

Psyche- Sharmaine Templado

Cupid- Anna Ignacio

Aphrodite- Francesca Dela Cruz

Zeus- Bettina Rodriguez

Eurydne- Lia Santos

Tanith- Nikka Ponce de Leon

Mother- Angela Bascara

Father- Eleonor Japzon

Hera- Janelle Gapasin

Apollo- Frances Magturo

Suitors- Angela Arguelles

- Jennifer Lopez

- Trixie Neri

Ant- Patricia Talaue

Dancers- Pristine Fajardo

- Francesca Dela Cruz

- Patricia Talaue

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the second show, our director, Betsy-yuh (a.k.a. Sexy-yuhhh), together with Mrs. Benitez and Niña, decided that we should stick to the main cast which is cast A. And so we did. But the main cast's Psyche has no voice so the cast B's Psyche was our Psyche for the 4 remaining shows.
The bloopers were endless but forgiveable. Some of it were:
*me as Aphrodite slipped on the blankets on the floor on my way to Zeus
*Nikka's wig coming off her head while singing
*Chesca as a dancer fell FLAT on the floor (this gets the Yikes! factor)
*Angel, our main Psyche, has sorethroat and she CAN'T sing
*I keep on forgetting Hera's cue with lines and songs
and many, many, many MORE...

But I love it.
It's a musical play. I got to act, sing and dance all at the same time and that's all that matters to me.

dramarama

2007-01-31T23:17:00.000-08:00

Really. I don't.

BIG PROBLEM

2007-01-26T05:05:00.000-08:00

Today's events:
*School Fair- Baila performer
*Abs-Cbn Fundraising- Band performer

Venue:
*Baila- School of the Holy Spirit, Gymnasium
*Gig- Dish, The Loop @ Abs-Cbn

Call time:
*Baila- 2:00pm
*Gig- 5:00pm

Time of performance:
*Baila- 6:00pm
*Gig- 7:00pm

Baila or Dish gig? Baila or Dish gig? Baila or Dish gig??????
Ohmy. I am going to dance in the first number in the Baila and my band is the front act at the Dish. I NEED to runnnnn!!!!!

Lord God, Kayo na po ang bahala.

I am going to lose it.

the last fieldtrip was soooo FUN!!!

2007-01-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

(Counter-clockwise: me, Lea, Margo, Mariz & Rosa ~Spread the good news and let us be happy and vain for the rest of the night!!!~ @ KFC SLEX gas station. Woohoo!! The day's almost over but we're still vain.)

("LEA & MARGO: Nasa ticket ng Abs-Cbn Fundraising concert ung Breakthrough!!! JA: Omaygaaaad!!!" *then we jump and scream for a good measure* It was one of the happiest moments in my life! *jump&scream again* take note: we were at KFC and people were just staring at us bewildered at how lunatics we girls of the School of the Holy Spirit can get.hahaha)

(Hey!! I have my water bottle with me so I'm all good. :D )

("JA: I'm so glad to see you guyssss!!! LEA: JA!!! Huggg!!! MARGO: We're glad to see you too!!!" Wish you guys were still my classmates...)

(There seems to be a lot of cameras. Where to look? Where to look?? Ayan tuloy, caps lang nakita and Lea is the only one looking..haha)

(Hey, lookie lookie!! I'm with the Pananagutan babes. A title flashed in my mind, "A Carrot Hottie Amidst the Banana Babes" wtf)

(A part of Lea, DomB up there, the whole face of Margo and a part of me and my blue cap.haha)

(Sweaty and oily faces...dyahe...hahah our faces just don't seem to fit.)

(Saw dearest Margo while going down and smiled. Simply because I was soooo sooooo soooo glad that I saw her with Lea, of course, and because she was holding a camera faced at my direction.heehee)

(Bayanihan, the carrot girls!!!, trekking down THIS Kalbaryo. My gawwwd. Kalbaryong kalbaryo to death! Fun experience but I would never want to do that again. NOT EVER.)

NEW YEAR!! & kuya's birthday eve :))

2007-01-02T15:42:00.000-08:00

(clockwise) ate ilene, ate izah, kuya mike, my sister,

me, ate carms, kuya karl & ate garets

Watched American DreamZ, ate YellowCab pizza, butter popcorn, m&m's, Tootsie lollipops (those giant ones I sooooo love), played Philippine edition of Monopoly, played Gestures (like charades), played charades, had some beer and chips, and stayed up late talking and talking and talking non-stop. Cool.

I miss my cousins already. I love you sooooo much!!

Fireworks makes me Euphoric ;)

2006-12-29T20:45:00.000-08:00

DECEMBER 29, 2006
december 29, 2006
DeCeMbEr 29, 2006
dEcEmBeR 29, 2006
DECEMBER 29, 2006
december 29, 2006
DeCeMbEr 29, 2006
dEcEmBeR 29, 2006
DECEMBER 29, 2006
december 29, 2006
DeCeMbEr 29, 2006
dEcEmBeR 29, 2006
DECEMBER 29, 2006
december 29, 2006
DeCeMbEr 29, 2006
dEcEmBeR 29, 2006

...IS LOVE

Lea's Uber funnnn Birthday bash

2006-12-21T23:59:00.000-08:00

Lea celebrates her 16th birthday!!!!

@ Eastwood City Walk, Libis

I loved every single moment of it :)

*me, LEA, margo, jamie & ea*

Dinner @ YellowCab

*ea, me, patter, LEA, jamie & margo*

Hey, hey lookie here:

I even got a henna tattoo. Cool.

( I look sooooo bangag :s)

Love you Lea!!!!!! Thanks for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

Band-Aid Auditions

2006-12-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

Breakthrough's the first band to audition so we were all there at the School of the Holy Spirit before 8am but the organizers were not.
They were late.

AUDITIONS:
Went well. I love the audience. Felt like we have fans. Hahaha.
Or not.

I went to Robinsons Galleria with Lea and Ea and they met up with Patter and Chad there.
I was a loner. NOT.
Then when the boys left, we went to Shang with Lea's mom.
We watched a showband at the Shangri-la Plaza, which sounded very, VERY good.
So I texted Simon, "Ang galeng ng mga banda sa shang. Show band tlga. Kakainggit. Tayo ren let's try rnb." I recieved his reply in less than a minute, "Onga eh. RnB ren tayo sa next jamming."
After watching the band, we went home and dropped Ea at her house.
I slept at Lea's and we planned on attending a Simbang Gabi but we didn't wake up. It was already 11am when we woke up so we just continued sleeping...

Fun day :)

Half day :(

2006-12-12T19:34:00.000-08:00

I have colds and fever, dahling.
I don't feel so good.
I have a massive headache.
This is killing meeeeee.

:(

Half day.
Went home straight and collapsed on my bed.

*sniff*sniff*

Pampanga Day

2006-12-11T23:57:00.000-08:00

Hey, it's my province's day. I didn't know Pampanga has it's own day. Sosyal. Does Bicol, Batangas, Camarines Sur, Palawan or even Baguio have their own day?? I don't think so. Well, maybe they do but I don't think they're that special to even celebrate or get printed on a Starbucks planner. Hahaha. Yeah. Well, I just found out that Pampanga has a day cause of that planner. soooo fun. :)

Oh my god.
This day is uber tiring.
School was tiring, as usual. Had lots and lots of seatworks and quizzes. There's a reflection paper to be passed tomorrow for Prosec class and I'm not even planning on doing it. It's such a waste.
After the school lessons, we had our intrams practice and MAN!!! was it tiring.
Right after the practice I rushed to my lockers (because I have three lockers. I have a lot of things in school. ;p) to fix my messy things and then hurriedly ran to where lea was (good thing she was in her classroom) and told her that, "We need to run!!! We have rehearsals pa before going to Abs-Cbn!!!" Lea was all, "Shit!!! I forgottttttt. We need to goooooo!!"
We were running, literally, to where lea's sundo was and headed straight to Future Star Studio and tagging along with us was our band managers, Margo and Rosa. To my surprise, and Margo's, our third band manager, Ea, was waiting for us at the school waiting area. Ohmygawwwd!! I miss Ea to death!!
After the looooooooong Hug-a-thon, we all ran to the Revo and made ourselves fit at the back of the Revo. We were singing lots of songs and we were all sooo noisy. The energy was just way, way, WAY up there!! I played the song, I'm Not Mising You by Stacie Oricco, over and over and over again until our drummer texted me, "Ja, san na kayo? Malayo pa kami." So I told him that we can just wait for them at Mcdo Katipunan. Although, Lea and I were already very, very much panicy because we're going to be sooo late if we don't start on time. But we were helpless that time so we just ate ice cream at Mcdonald's and waited.
While we were waiting, Mick, our bassist texted me, "Ja, may problema. Di nadala ung gitara ni Ramon nung hiniraman ko." WHAT?! Good thing Kuya Bobbit, the owner of the studio lets people rent instruments so I told him that Ramon, our lead guitarist, could just rent. I did not tell Lea about this problem because she already has a lot in her mind and I didn't want to stress her with that teensy-weensy problem so I let it pass. But then Mick texted again, "Ayaw na daw sumama ni Ramon. Papunta na kami. Kaming dalawa lang ni Simon." Wow. Perfect. I cannot handle that all by myself, so I told Lea. We were helpless remember? So she let it pass. But I was sooooo devastated. The devil backed out hours before the auditions. Perfect.
When Mick and Simon arrived, we headed straight to the studio. Kuya Bobbit was there and when he learned that we were going to audition, he gave us bits of VERY helpful reminders and advices. It was already 7pm when we left the studio. 7pm was the time of our audition. Perfect. Juuuust perfect.
Alexa, one of the organizers, kept on texting us, asking where we were. The tension inside the car was soooo intense. I think even the driver and our managers were feeling the tension too. I couldn't see why not because HELLO?? We were sooooo late.

AUDITIONS:
It went well, I think. We only rehearsed two songs because the girl Lea was talking to said it was okay if we only performed 2-3songs. Since we lack time, we rehearsed only two songs. Unfortunately, after we sang our 2nd song, the teenaged organizers there asked for a third song.
Oh no.
So we sang an unrehearsed song which Lea did not know so Mick, Simon and I were the only ones who performed the song which was a DISASTER. But was okay. Hahaha.
After that, the hottest organizer ( I didn't get his name) walked up to me and blabbered about the fundraising details like when the date is, where it's going to be held..etc. I was not really myself that time because the adrenaline was still sooooo high and is not going away even if the audition was over, and a hot guy is talking to me, so I just kept on nodding and nodding my head.
After that, we went straight downstairs to where Starbucks is to get a cup of coffee. We were all so happy that it's over.
When it was time for us to go, Lea took Ea and Mick home and I took Margo, Rosa and Simon.

This day felt like months before it ended. But I love this long, tiring day.
I also realized one thing on my way home...Breakthrough did so good even without a lead guitarist. Maybe we're better off without one.

I'm so beat.

wHatta day

2006-12-09T23:20:00.000-08:00

This day is NOT my day!!

Breakthrough was rescheduled on the 16th because..tadaaaahhh!! The lead's guitar snapped somewhere near the head part. Shit.

I am such in a bad mood.

"Pwedeng pakibilisan?? Naghahanap-buhay po ako."
Isa ka pa.

Ouch*

2006-12-04T22:51:00.000-08:00

This was a rush I never experienced before.

I crammed with the band song (I studied it approximately 5hrs before the band practice)
some of our bandmates are not even sure if they're going to play with the band or not
I have no idea what I was doing the whole time we were rehearsing
I think coffee is the main reason why I'm sooooo restless
my heartbeat is so fast, and I mean real FAST
M*** is an egocentric ass
Iconn is his master
I don't feel good!!!!!!!!
I am stressed and I feel sooooo pressured
I am soooooo NOT giving up. Not at this moment. Someday I will.
did I make the right decision??

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gio compared me to Sarah
He's a bigger ass

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I worry too much

Iced Tea Partaaaaay!!

2006-12-03T22:03:00.000-08:00

Ha! I knew it!

Saldia CANNOT whip-up Iced tea!! She can't!! Sad thing is..neither can I. waaaa.

Mine actually tasted like coffee. Seriously!!

Ay. Wait.

Let me fill you in first with what's going on...

My cousins and I had an Iced Tea Experimaking CONTEST!!! Epal. Mine tasted like I ordered it from Starbucks or something. I didn't put coffee in it I swear. Grr. How can Iced tea taste like coffee?! Huh? HOW???

Nip Tuck's show tonight is DISGUSTING.

Some loser in the show pretends to be a surgeon and ruins his patients' faces. Like cut their mouths all the way up to their cheekbones!!

Gross.

Ayan na. Kill time.

Doughnut Experimaking naman. I'll try the All-Organic Vegan's Doughnutella. O ha. I just thought of that. How in the world will I be able to pull that off is the big problemo!

Whatever. I'm super girl anyway. I can do this. (me: I can't do thisssss!!)

Nota: Hey, I found a new love.

***Grey's Anatomy***

I did not sleep on the night of my USTET to have a dvd marathon. Waaa.

But Sprite Ice and Toffee Nut Latte is still THE new love(s). wtf.

----------------------------I'm dddddddddddrunk-----------------------------

I just hate WAITING

2006-12-02T02:45:00.000-08:00

I am sooooo bored.
I'm actually considering going to bed now but Sarah insisted that I wait for her call.

On the bright side, I'm going to be able to hear my bestfriend's voice again!! I'll be able to talk to her again!! I CAN'T WAIT. Seriously.
Especially, right now when my eyelids are starting to get heavier by the minute.

Sarah!! Pick up the goddamn phone and dial my freaking number please!! Or else, I'll go to bed, phone call or no phone call.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, lookie here! It's Strings!
Looking at it makes me want to go to bed soooo badly. Even though I slept for like almost 4 and a half hours this afternoon. I just love my bed with my fluffy pillows and the soft warm comforter.
I looooooove it.
If my bed takes up a human form, I'd seriously consider marrying it.

Oh what the heck.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ang tagal talaga ni Sarah tumawag ah. Nauubusan na ko ng english dito hindi parin siya tumatawag.
Nandito na si Maya sa house hindi parin tumatawag. Naantok na talaga ako ah.
Hay nako. Kapag dumating na sila Nathan and Chico dito sa house, I am going to bed!!

Pano naman pag tumawag si Sarah?
Grrrr.

Asaaaaaar.
Bahala na nga si Batman.
I'm getting sooooo bangag here!! Hellooooo?!

It's all because of the fumes here. Those stupid incense ought to be destroyed.
Paranamangkasingtangatongmgatoheh!! Anong feeling niyo asa China tayo?! Ba't naman kasi may mga insenso tong bahay ko?! Nakapatay pa ung ilaw, haleeeerrrr?! Nagkakauntugan na nga kayo jan eh ayaw niyo pa buksan ung ilaw. Pilit na pinagtyatyagaan ung mga lintek na maliliit na kandila jan eh halos magkapatayan na kayo kasi di kayo makakita ng maayos!

Grrr.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here na sila Nathan and Chico.

Kill the lights.
(ay, wala nga palang nakabukas na ilaw kasi nga feeling romantic tong mga tao dito eh. Kandila daw ang uso. Fineeeee.)
Buhusan ko ng tubig yang mga insensong yan eh.

Goodnight Chicas.

zzz...

---Chasing Cars---

2006-12-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here I
f I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much they're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
###########################################################################

Miss you Jared.

i just love it

2006-12-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

This day was just soooo relaxing. No school, no chores (well except for the part where my mom asked me to clean my pretty messy room..but I enjoyed cleaning anyway so it does not count as a chore), no loud voices emanating from my family members, no schoolworks, no work-out, no tabathas (thank God!), no baby Jam crying because of wet diapies, no nothing!!
I talked to Lea the whole day and we talked about A LOT of stuff. We were online the whole day and we just laughed and cried and got pretty insane with the topics. But I loved it.
I remember, one time at Starbucks Convergys, I was with Margo and we just sat there eating and drinking for like 3 or 4 hours. We were blabbering about several different things, going from one topic to another. It was like, we were about to end one topic but then end up thinking of another one so the conversation doesn't actually stop. It was super duper fun!!
My conversation with Lea is like the one I had with Margo. Long and senseless. But we both learned a lot and I happen to like senseless conversations. Only with my chicas.
Lea and I talked about how we miss Frances. Damn. I almost cried when I read Lea's entry in her multiply about Frances. I don't know what's going on with Frances but I know that whatever it is is not good. Why can't she just tell us why?

Wait.
Micko called.

"I saw Peejay in Rockwell."
I was all, "So?"
And he was like, "He suddenly disappears from the face of the earth without any reason why and you're all 'so?' there??"
And so I was, "Because I heard he was enjoying life with a certain..uhm..Krystal? So why in the world should I care?!"
Micko hung up.
Pfft. Boys.

Okay. So here's the deal.
The truth is, I've heard different versions of what happened to Peejay right after he hit on me.
I'm kidding. About the..uhm..he hit on me part.
So, yeah. Where was I? Oh yeah. Rumors about Peejay.
I heard lots about him but I never really told anybody in my cirle of friends in the Circle of B's. I just don't like to. Don't ask why.
I heard Peejay got soooooo depressed after some girl snatched his heart from his chest, smashed it on the ground, and stomped on it with glee.
Ha! That's what you get mr. I'm Perfect. Sapak, you want?!

Thank God, Micko was the one who saw him and not me because if it was me, I'd go up to him and kill him. Seriously. With a gun or a knife or a scissors or a stick! Whatever. I just want to kill him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I miss Jared.
Our schedules just won't match no matter what. I just hate missing people.

Sakit sa ulo.

sUpEr CoUsiNs

2006-11-30T00:03:00.000-08:00

I love them to pieces!! More than all the chocolate chip cookies in the world!!

This picture was taken in (can you believe it?) a cemetery. But we're still all smiles :D

Another reason why I love them. They make every place and/or time a happy place and/or time whatever the circumstances are.

They're the funnest cousins ever.

Plus, they can always tell if i'm in a bad mood or not. Whether I have a problem or just plain sad. They can even tell if I'm hungry or not. Sometimes, they'd even hand me stuff I didn't realize I needed until given to me!

Unbelievable.

They are one in a million!

***mmmmmmmwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Clouds in My Coffee

2006-11-29T23:07:00.000-08:00

What does this mean??

"nagiicip nga! ng tahimik or habang ngpphinga.." Rosa said, when I asked her for like, the 11th time.

But then she changed her answer to, "nalilito as in confused pala..kase un ung sabi dun sa song na ur so vain."

hahahaha :))

Now I know what "clouds in my coffee" means.

Enough now.

i love you...NOT.

2006-11-29T22:17:00.000-08:00

Micko sent me this, uhm...shit?

He's doing it AGAIN!!

I swear if he drops NOT SO SUBTLE hints again, I am going to slit his wrists and pry his tonsils out of his throat.

I mean it.

I miss ate

2006-11-29T19:25:00.000-08:00

She's in Cebu right now and I super duper miss her.
I HATE THE FREAKIN' TYPHOON BECAUSE IT ONLY MEANS THAT HER FLIGHT TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE MOVED TO A LATER DATE. ugh.

She's mad at me, I think, because I don't get to greet her anymore when she gets home because I'm always too busy doing something. Like, schoolworks or ytac assignments and whatnot. The truth is, I've been dying to talk to her again because I have sooooooo MANY problems. I never get the chance to tell her my heartaches anymore.

I MISS HER.

Sick and Tired

2006-11-25T01:58:00.000-08:00

I am never drinking again. Not ever. I mean it. Even if it means my life.

Being drunk is such a drag. Imagine, I recited the whole Apostles Creed to my poor-stricken yaya when I got home last October 30, drunk. According to her, I was screaming my lungs out and she couldn't make me stop. She had to punch me so hard on the shins to make me shut up. Unfortunately, that only made me scream even more louder due to the pain. Yikes.

Wouldn't want that to happen again, now, would I?

No effin' way.

I'll just stick to Sprite Ice. Tastes good and does not get me into trouble..i think.

*****SPRITE***ICE*****

is the new love.

Vanity is a Virtue

2006-11-25T01:37:00.000-08:00

These were actually taken after one of

our loooong and tiring rehearsals. I don't know if it's because of the rehearsal blues or we're just plain vain. Jiggy kept on saying, "grabe, vain ah." but he was actually the one who kept on asking patty b and me to pose for the camera. hmm..what about?!

I miss these days. Life was actually a lot more fun when I was with the trumpets playshop people.

Argh. I miss my vain sessions with mtt-c at the shangri-la plaza foodcourt.

I miss the crying to death sessions we had when teacher Meynard got sooooo mad at us and i mean REALLY MAD.

I missed shopping with them!

I missed dancing and singing with them at the 5th floor.

I miss everything!!

Argh.

When's the reunion kaya ulit?

*True blue Mtt-C students are VAIN*

I want to travel everywhere and unravel everything

2006-11-24T07:54:00.000-08:00

I want to be free again! Kating-kati na ung paa ko to travel once again.
My god..school is going to drive me insane. Homeworks dito, seatworks jan, projects dito, presentations jan. Ugh!! The quizzes are getting worse..especially in Physics. Padami na nang padami ung step-by-step problems ni ms. Tolidanes and kahit na sobrang bumabagsak na ung mga mata ko sa sobrang antok, pinipilit ko paring ibukas because I can't miss a single word from ms. Toli. Ok sana Physics eh..kaso papatayin ako sa sakit sa ulo nun eh. Isa pa yang Math na yan. Step-by-step din. Napapagsama sama ko na lahat ng steps sa isang step! My goddddd. Help!

*waving white flag*

Somebody kill me. Now.

-PiLiNuT misses PeAnUt-

2006-11-23T20:06:00.000-08:00

I miss frances sooooo much!!

She's been confined in the hospital for like 4 or 5 days(?) and AR does not know the REAL reason why!!! She won't tell us whatever's happening with her little body of hers. Even her parents did not want to let us know what the real deal is. I'm going to lose it if I don't find out why she's always crying. We are all worrying for frances sooooo much and we so want to know why?! WHY BA KASIIIII??

Will keep on asking that.

Won't be able to sleep. (again.) I haven't had a nice decent sleep for, like, 4 nights. What a drag.

preliminary topic proposal

2006-11-22T02:36:00.000-08:00

I am so friggin' tired.
This English proposal thing is just like the investigatory project. "Dagdag lang sa mga schoolworks", pur told me earlier. She's right. Oh my, mrs. Benitez!!! Why are you doing this to us??
I am going to lose it.

oh oh, check out Jackie's Lightspeed, man. It was the best car there is for me. It definitely rocked the show but I think the judges are blind. Mainly because one or, I think, two of them were her "tito". ha ha ha. bummer.

I am soooooo sleepy.
INSOMNIA attacks!!
I hate this.

Jackie's Lightspeed Rocks the Show

2006-11-22T00:10:00.000-08:00

Hate the sin not the sinner. In this case, I think I'll go with the sinner.

2006-11-21T23:45:00.000-08:00

I hate Iconn Cayabyab. He is SUCH a liar! A big, fat liar. Ironically, he is not big. He's actually (hmm..how do I say this?) a small perve.
He's a freak who has a rather big mouth.
I pity him, actually, because nobody really likes him. He just thinks he has a lot of friends and flaunts every single one of them. Hellooooo?! Reality check, dude...
Everybody hates you, man. Why?? Because you are such a motherfucking loser who can't do anything decent with your own god forsaken boring life.

I just hate you.

Iconn, you are going down and I mean DOWN.

2006-11-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if I show it.

I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if you know it.

VanityFair

2006-11-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

Our unforgivable vanity in front of the ticket booth in Eastwood.

My unforgettable night with my chicas.

The (almost) endless, noisy sound trip ever!!

The Open Season movie trip.

The table hockey addicts.

We hate the taxi that never came.

We love my sister who drove us to Eastwood.

The separate dinner. No comment.

The oh-my-god-joreza-nabutas -ung-paper-bag-mo-sa-loob-ng-peoplearepeople. Heeeelp!!

We are shopaholics and we know it.

We are Nuts About Candy.

This is THE dramarama in Eastwood.

Bliss while drinking...

2006-04-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

Gio and I were together under the big coconut tree, which I believe is infested with gheko's (is this correct?!) but I didn't mind, when I took this picture. But I'll admit, hearing their creepy sounds emitting from up above me did get my hair at the back of my neck standing.

We were having a very serious talk while drinking uhm...what was it again?? Red Rockets Glaze, I think, was the name of the cocktail, that got me so friggin' dizzy. Gio ordered 4 very tall glasses of those just because i told him that "Hey, this tastes good..." a minute later, a glass filled with white liquid and red fruit balls emerged right in front of me. That night was just so lovely. Although I couldn't really remember every single detail of it, I still think it was the best because it was the night when I proved that Gio was not like the other guys. He was not abusive of anything nor was he in a hurry to take things to the next level, if you know what I mean.

But at the same time, I also realized that I wasn't ready for Gio. I hate to admit this but I AM SO AFRAID to have a relationship, and I mean a real relationship, with a guy I really, really, really like. I'm afraid I might get hurt. I'm afraid of everything that might get in the way.

My gaaaaaaaad.

I am such a coward.

Shame on me.

Just try :)

2005-01-03T03:30:00.000-08:00

Do it like this:

Dear (the person who last texted/smsed you).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervertYellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat; With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family