Fake people, lies, hell I'm fed up with LIFE.
And everytime the doctor asks me, "Can you be safe outside the hospital?" I answer, "yeah I guess"
But am I really?
Am I ever gonna be stable enough that I can be truly safe?
I want that more than anything. But I feel as if I'm running on a treadmill, exerting all my energy and giving it everything I got but getting nowhere.
And I'm tired. I want to quit. And someday I might. I don't know.
I'm not exactly suicidal.. but I'm definitely on the edge, I've been pushed right up onto that edge and I'm so close to falling off or maybe being forced to jump.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm running out of the energy it takes to resist killing myself. It takes energy you know, lots of it.
I can't say no much longer
I don't know how I've lasted this long.
I don't feel safe, not right now.
I'm at the point where I have nothing left to hold onto, nothing to keep me here.
And I'm scared. =(
I'm at my wits end.
I don't want to live.
It would be so much easier...
