This is not right

Sarah called to say that she will not be seeing me on Sunday because she's going out with the f-ing HALLELUYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jema...
...before Sarah leaves on Monday morning.... ='(

...and i don't know when she's coming back...


I just feel like my heart turned into a toe that grew an ingrown the size of a blackboard eraser.
Owwwww.

I wish my heart turned into a rock. Parang gago lang.
People always put me aside and choose unworthy assholes over me. But I never whined. Well, not to their faces. I just swallow the heavy bag of tears just before they fall and put on a big SMILE and say, "It's okay" even if it's not.
I'm very good at hiding emotions...because I suck when I let them show... It's like, wow, all uhog and luha.
Only this time, I couldn't hold them in...I felt this familiar warm liquid coming from my eyes trickling down my cheeks...BUTI NALANG I WAS ON THE PHONE LANG!!! Sarah didn't see me crying. She didn't even notice the sudden change in my voice. Then she hung up before I could even say "I'm going to miss you..."


After my crying-my-heart-out moment, f-ing Jema called to f-ing apologize. She was blabbering about how it was quite a sudden plan and how it sucks that I can't join them. Tapos biglang may hinabol na sinabi, "Kaw kasi eh. Dapat hinayaan mo na lang si Chino." MOTHERFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK


NOW I F-ING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sarah thought I was the one who asked Chino to stay away from her. (Chino is her ex-boyfriend, by the way) Now she's all bitter because she's still f-ing in love with the bastard, who is now avoiding her like a plague.
I say...
Die and rot in hell.

Sarah, honey, please don't be stupid and try to recall the time when you asked Chino to "lay low". DUN PO YUN NAGSTART. I have nothing to do with it and now you're blaming me. You even chose to believe f-ing Jema over me.







Magsama kayo ni Navalta.

This is crap

I have been cramming for 4 consecutive days just to study and do advance reading for nothing. Those professors ought to be jailed. They keep on announcing quizzes which never happens. Argh!!!
What a waste...of time...to sleep...waaa
I'm just so cranky these days...I want more sleep and more time to, well, SLEEP!!!!
I want it now and I want it bad.

Zune

I WANT ONE. The wide LCD is to die for...that's it I guess...

And oh oh, one more thing. You can actually send tracks to other Zunes..

That, you can't do with Ipod. How cool is that.

My only problem is, magkano naman kaya toh? Goodluck to my bank account.

:)

July 12, 2007...before Friday the 13th

No Zoology for today :)

I was in my complete school uniform when I arrived earlier in school only to find out that there's no Zoology prof...meaning, walang Zoology class...
I was pissed and ecstatic at the same time because going to school was a waste of time, uniform and gas, but it also meant GOING TO GATEWAY WITH MY BLOCKMATES :)
Funnnnnnnnn.
My whole entire class was there and even our irregular classmate, Paolo, was there too which was expected cause Zoology was his only subject for today...
Half of our class watched Harry Potter and the other half burned money at Timezone. I practically burned the Dance Dance Revolution floor...hahahaha My fucking feet hurt though. You try dancing with pumps on and see if your feet won't hurt. Dangness. Feet so sore feet so sore feet so sore
!!!
Sherrie bought some brain enhancer meds...the hell...I didn't know there's such thing!amf
I was looking for some nicotine patches but they didn't have it in Watsons. Corny!
Then went home...oh oh, we saw sir Jun Regala btw...hahaha
There. I'll go and get some sleep before I study for Heco...which sucks because I know I'll be too lazy to wake up just to study for Heco...
I know because...nothing.
I just know :)


Goodnight world

title...title..title...

Nag-away na naman kami...palagi na lang...
Nakakapagod
argh.

Dapat talaga nagshut-up na lang ako. Init na nga ng ulo ko dumagdag pa. Alam na ngang di maganda mga sinasabi ko pag galit eh...

ASAN ANG TITLE PER BLOG ENTRY??????
Waaaaa It's not working... ='(
sadness.


Navalta called. Nangamusta lang tas binaba na ren un phone kasi nagpapatawag daw girlfriend niya. NAMANNNN. Wala pa ngang 3mins eh...chaka he gets to talk to her whenever she likes pero pag ako...hindi pwede...kasi bestfriend lang naman ako...I get that. Pero kahit na tama lang 'yun, bakit parang mali pag nasasaktan na ko,,
ay...erase erase...hindi naman "nasasaktan"...I just feel so left out!!!
Sige na nga nasasaktan na...
waaaaaa NAVALTA PUNYETAHHHHHHHHHH
Magpaparamdam bigla tapos bitin. Fuck you.



Siguro hindi ko lang ikaw maintindihan talaga.
Pag-aralan ko nga pano ko igaganti yan sayo...


And you call yourself my bestfriend. Fuck you. Fuck you talaga.
Crap, Navalta. You suck.
You suck to the infinite power and you will always suck
!!!
I hate you.


This time I mean it.

6th day pa lang. HELLOOOOOOOO...hindi pa ko umaabot ng 1week eh parang masisiraan na ko ng baet.
Eto pang si Brianne nagyayaya kanina!
"Self-control lang yan, Ja. Self-control!!!"
Grawr. Ang galing galing...hindi ako nagyosi.
Amen.

IT STARTS......

.........NOW

Masarap...

Si Jela kasi kung ano anong tinatanong eh...rawr. Ayun. Nadisgrasya tuloy 'yung traysikel na sinasakyan niya...nabangga raw ng kotse at kalahati na ng katawan niya eh nasa labas. Kung hindi raw siya nakahawak sa tryk eh malamang dumirediretsyo na raw siya papalabas ng traysikel at nasagasaan ng mga dumadaang kotse. Amf!
Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..............................nakakatakot naman.
Eh pero hindi naman nangyare kaya, okay naman. Hahaha
May pa-sarap sarap pa kasing nalalaman eh. Ayan tuloy. Bakit daw kasi tinigil namin un pinag-uusapan namin. Dapat ata pinagusapan lang namin yon hanggang sa makarating siya ng bahay. Hanggang ngayon wala akong mahanap na koneksyon bakit pero ano naman?? Eh sa ganun talaga eh. May mga bagay talaga na hindi na kailangan pa hanapan ng rason...hinahayaan ko na lang si Jela, baka naman...hmmm...ewan ko. Secret.
Wahahahahahaha ;p
Hindi nakakatuwa 'yung pinagusapan, pero hindi naman ako nagalit, nainis, napikon o kung ano pa man. Basta hindi lang ako natuwa.
NABULABOG LANG AKO.
Pero kahit na ganun, eh ayos naman dahil marami ren naman akong nalaman at natutunan. Isa talagang "ate" si Jela sa akin. NGUNIT!!! Hindi ko siya tatawagin na ate. Baka mautusan pa ko nun. Hahaha at hindi bagay na tawagin ko siyang ate. Parang...cheap! hahahaha

'Yun na. Tinulugan naren naman ako. Dun nagtapos.

HAY SALAMAT

Pag natuloy pa un usapan na 'yon sa eskwelahan. Tae.
Uwi na ko. hahahahah


*Aral na ko Zoology*

ooh..mamayedobapbareba...

i miss grandma...
i miss everything about her..i miss her...
her croaky voice when she tries to sing to me and then coughs a little..stops..coughs again and then continues singing...
her balikbayan boxes full of chocolates and candies with a pair of kick-ass stilletos or pumps in it sent here when it's almost halloween...
her long distance phone calls just to ask me to sing to her...
her soft, warm hand...
her fragile body...
her "apo, you're God's gift to me" every single hour...
her hug...
her watery eyes...
her silver gray hair...
her stare...
her taste in clothes, shoes, accessories...whatever...i love it
her chocolate drink...ewan ko ba..may gayuma kaya un?hehe
her soapy, powdery smell...
her stories about her and grandpa...how they met..how she loves him..how she tells me that her world would've never been the same if she never met grandpa...
her kissing me on my forehead and how it never fails to make me cry (because i'm so emotional..hehehe)
her saying "take care of you're dad. he keeps on forgetting to take his medicines. tsk tsk tsk...that boy..."
her scratching my scalp before i go to bed...



and a lot more...



i miss her...
='(



i love you, ma




i would do anything just to bring back my memory to remember you in heaven...but if i can't and i saw that familiar face...i'd run and hug you anyway, even if you're already a stranger...
='(