The lea and patur conflict

...and their away bati relationship...




I was with Pao at BK, erod this morning. I love him :)
But he was soooooooooooo kulit. Damn. Wala nang tatalo sa kakulitan nun. rawr.
He took my pen and wrote down unnecessary words into my Zoology reviewers..took the pen and erased them..he took it again and wrote more words just to be a pain. But whatever. Even if he's a pain in the ass, he's the pain in my ass...I guess that makes it okay.amf.wahahahaha


My block met the new math professor. TERROR!!! I hate math and I'm hating it even more with the help of the new prof. CRAP YOU!!!
Psychology was a blast. The topics were...uhm...R18. hahahaha but whatever. Sabi naman nila mukha akong 18 eh. Okay na yun. hahaha
English was...english. She gave us a homework. Boring. That subject just makes me want to snooze until it's 4:30pm.


TDT Orientation c/o Coach Hazel and the TDT officers.
We met the very pretty but gay external PRO, Jeilo.
Yes, his name's Jeilo. Don't you just love it? She, I mean he's sooooo pretty. hahahaha
Watched the past TDT and Bronco's Pep Squad's competitions and concerts. I loved it :)


Went to Eastwood with Frances, in the hope of finding Lea and Patrick there. When we got there, I called Lea and asked where she was...aba ang magaling na babae nasa Katipunan pa...alriiiight.
Frances and I bought a pack of Dunhill and sat outside Coffee Beanery...we tried to study. I couldn't concentrate, of course. So I decided to finish the whole pack of cigarettes nalang. Studying in Eastwood is pointless. rawr. So is smoking, i know. But whatever. I can't help it.
After a few more minutes, i text messaged Lea, "babes lea, san na kayo?"...message sent.
Smoked a few more cigarettes then saw Lea and Patrick...I checked my phone and saw Lea's message, "dito na eastwood but i can't meet you guys. not now."
Kaya pala linampasan nila kami.
.......


Lea and Patrick went to where we were...Hugged Lea which I think took forever...Then sat down.



FAST FORWARD.



Called Pao because Lea didn't have any idea on how she was going home
!!!!!
whattabout.
I asked Pao to take her home and he said, okay :)
Oh he's such a life saver...



FAST FORWARD.



Rode a cab on my way home. Alone. Was scared. Hell yeah scared. hahahaha
oh oh, before we left, we saw....jarannnnnnnn...Iñigo.
hahahaha
Go Franny :)




There. My day ends there. I am soooooooo wasted.
Good night world

Trinity Dance Troupe and Pep Squad

hindi planado...
well, yeah, planado but hindi planado...gets?hahahaha
i'm sooooooooo happy!!!
didn't expect to pass because i'm so unprepared! pumunta pa ko dun ng naka-jeans, and take note, skinny jeans pa. (yes, people, nagkasya na sakin ung mga skinny jeans ko na dating hindi...wahahahaha!!! double celebration ;p) naka-tsinelas nga ren pala ako nun. whatabout! kapal ng mukha to go there dressed like that kahit na sinabi na nga nung guy, whom we later found out is ung internal pro ng TDT, na strictly no jeans, no slippers, only sweatpants/jogging pants/jazz pants and rubbershoes...ayun.kapal ko talaga.hahaha
humingi ng auditions form ba yun?tapos lumabas ulit..nag fill in nung form at lumakbay pa all the way to the other side of the gym para lang magwashroom kasi magchchange ng clothes ang mga magagaling na magauauditions daw pero naka jeans.hahaha
ayun. at least frances and I changed. kasi oonga pala, nakajeans din si franny. pero at least she's wearing sneakers and not slippers. unlike ung isang kasama niya...na si...ako pala yun.hahaha
anyway, ayun...nagfree dance lang.ung first part lang nung song ung choreographed c/o coach JM.tapos nawala na sa isip ko ung iba...so sumayaw na lang ako ng...uhm...wala lang. basta sumayaw. ayun na yon.
ang haba ng blog entry na toh. amf.
basta, to cut it short...ayun nga...
WE PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
o ha, san ka pa...ayun lang.


sabi ko lang san ka pa. bakit?
okay. nagwatch pa yung blockmates ko. tama ba 'yun?masamaaaaaaa
si brianne nagtatampo kasi wala daw siya nun at hindi ako nakita kasi siya lang daw ang may hindi alam na magauauditions ako nun.amf
kapal eh.kala mo kung sino para kailangan eh malaman niya lahat.hahaha sira ulo nun.tae xa.



yun lang.
namimiss ko na si paopao.rawrrrrrrrr

@ Izel's dorm

Muntik na ko magcommute kanina!!!! eh syempre ayaw ren naman ni ate na magcommute ako...pati lahat ng tinanungan ko ng directions nagaalala sakin.ayun. ang magaling na prinsesa eh sinundo ren ni ate.hahaha aylovit!!!rawr.

after BK ng 1nu27...umalis na yung iba kasi magccommute pa tapos umaambon pa...ayun. kami ni Izel, went straight dun sa dorm niya and on our way there syempre ang pinaguusapan namin eh...jarannnnn...ung boys niya.hahahaha pero siyempre meron din un akin. pero isa lang. isa lang naman talaga eh. ayun nga. syempre, naiinis DAW siya sa boyfriend niya kasi nga daw may gut feeling siya na niloloko siya. aba. pano ba naman eh nasa Laguna pa ung boyfriend...kasama yung ex gf na close friend ni Izel na fnlirt ata ung bf ni Izel para maging sila habang cool off si Izel at Francis.whatabout.tas binalikan pa ni Izel. tanong pa siya ng tanong, "tanga ba ko para balikan siya?"...sumagot naman ako ng "oo"...eh pero mahal daw talaga niya. edi OLRAYYTTTT. wala na ko masasabi dun. ganun talaga eh.hahaha
natuwa naman ako at nagopen up siya sakin. parang hindi ko pa kaya yun ganun...para kasing hanggang ngayon natatakot paren akong magtrust sa mga tao. sa hayop na lang. amf.
HINDI.
hindi naman natatakot...nagdadalawang isip lang...kumbaga, naninigurado...hindi dahil takot pero kasi...alam mo yun. overprotective sa sarili...ampucha...TAKOT NGA AKO.


bakit ba kasiiiiii....
ayoko na. enough.


back to the UBEhan with Izel, ayun nga...nakwento ren niya yung mga "errold chuva"...hahaha errold chuva amfufu...parang ginawa ko namang bakla si errold...well eto na people, hindi siya bakla. ;p
ayun. nakwento nga niya tas okay naman. na-enlighten ako sa mga facts na...ewan ko. nakakatuwa ba or talagang naNR lang ako nun at nagpakaplastik at nagreact paren?...parang ganun ata..ewan.hahaha
ang labo ko magblog these days.tama na nga muna.


loser entry.

babes...

I LOVE YOU ♥

-UNTITLED-

Yesterday came crashing through
Underneath the falling skies
I see no mistake in loving you
until there's no love left for me
In giving you my whole world
From the torn and broken pieces
of what's left for me to do
It came crashing through...

I never knew you would leave me out there falling
How can you see and not feel?
How can you hear and not understand?
Suddenly all the words don't seem right
It hurts that you don't want me loving you
When it is all I ever do

It tore me up to see someone
Right beside you where I used to stand
How do you escape this thing?
How do you get away from the feeling?
How can I cease this terrible pain
Only felt where my heart used to be
For you have taken it
When it first belonged to me

I don't mind loving you...
I just wish the pain away...
'Cause until it ends...
With you is where I want to stay.......

When it rains...it fucking pours

I am pissed off due to a million reasons...

MOM: Pinalipat na kita ng BS Chemistry
ME: WHAT?!?! Why??
MOM: Mas madadalian kang...blahblahblahblah...

I couldn't hear the rest of it...the thought of studying in the course I never ever thought I would take made me deaf to my mom's words. She has got to be kidding me.
A lot happened and so I went to my room, slammed the door shut in this very VERY LOUD way that I worried for a sec if I ruined it, then wailed and wailed and well...wailed. What was I to do? I was afraid to shout at my mom because I might say words that may hurt her because at that moment I was hurt so so so so so BAD. I threw things in my room and then fixed them right after. I moved a few things around just to get my mind off the matter.
Pfft. Who was I kidding?! I can't get the fucking BS Chemistry off my mind.


Rehearsals of the STAGES production makes me sick like hell.
I quit.


Enough said.


I can't move. My body is tired.
Goodbye to all the workouts. Or not. Well, goodbye for now.


I never knew our next door neighbor plays a kick-ass drums. He plays kick-ass alright but the noise he makes made me want to KICK HIS ASS OUT THE PAVED STREET AND SHOVE THE DRUMSTICKS RIGHT UP HIS ASSHOLE SO HE CAN STOP ACTING LIKE HE'S A TEENAGE JUVENILE. Ugh. As if!


I cannnnnnn't sleep.

Why?

I finally get to do what I love to do...


This is my forte...


This is my passion...


But why am I NOT happy?

Happy 1st Anniversary!!!

To my blog =)
Woot! Woot!

Nothing New

I miss you blog!!!
I haven't updated you for a loooong while. Well, I was uhm..not in the mood. A lot has happened but I just couldn't make my LAZY self to put them into words and type it here.
The truth? Argh. It's boring.
I was just stuck in the house. Pretty much did nothing. Waaaa :(( I am going to lose it.


Some of the days I spent with my friends:
April 14, 2007- Watched the last full show of "The Reaping" with Garettes, Maya & Sarah at Eastwood City Walk. We ate dinner inside the movie house because it was almost 10:40pm when we bought our tickets and the movie starts at 11:00pm, so there. Good thing I already ate before leaving the house. I took the time to eat dinner while waiting for them to wake up from their very, very long nap. It was such a riot when they all woke up because it was already 8:30pm. They trashed my bedroom with their clothes, shoes, make-up and accessories. Homayged.
Anyway, right after the movie we went straight to Decades @ Tomas Morato. My girlfriends ordered a LOT of alcoholic beverages and got me drinking until every bottle was empty even though I kept on saying, "Tama naaaaa. I am sooooo tipsyyyyy." (in this very lasing way so they would stop shoving glass after glass right up my face) But they were all like, "Jaaaaa. We'll all finish theeeeese. Kaya pa yaaaaan." You can guess. We were all very much drunk. Good thing Maya's driver was there because honestly, I don't have a clue how the hell we were going home like that.
April 15, 2007- Woke up on Maya's bed. It was so big, we all fit on it. As usual, I was the earliest to wake up because papa's driver was going to pick me up early there so I can attend the morning mass in Filinvest 2.
After the mass, I went home and ate lots and lots of ice cream. Expect me to throw up afterwards :D
April 16, 2007- Kats, Raia, Patsy, Isha and Bea went to my house and camped in front of our tv set to have a horror dvd marathon. The girls made sure that they scream for a good measure and make a loud noise on each movie. When the fourth dvd was played, everyone had they're own world already. Patsy was in front of the computer, mercilessly typing on my computer keyboard. Bea was beside her painting her toenails and she announced that Patsy was just chatting with her boyfriend. Wellllllllllllllllll, okay. Raia was already asleep on the table. Yes. She fell asleep ON THE TABLE. Isha, Kats and I were the only ones who were watching the movie. I think I was the 2nd to fall asleep because when I woke up the next day, the sun was already shining brightly and I was still on the same beanbag that I was sitting on the other night. Argh. But Patsy was worse and funnier. I found her sleeping on the chair right in front of the computer, which was still on.
After having breakfast, they all went home. YES!!! I can sleep now on my cozy bed :)
April 17, 2007- I celebrate too soon. The Circle of B's decided to go to my house and pig out. NO, SERIOUSLY. They just wanted to eat and well, mess up my house. Raarrr.
Oh by the way, I beat Ryan in wrestling. Well, the truth is he let me win. hahaha It's a good thing though. I won 500 bucks for that. Hah! Loser. But I love him just the same. Thanks for the 500 bucks, guys :D


Aaaaaand after that, my life was back to the usual. Getting stuck at home, being bored like hell and doing nothing but eat, sleep, surf the net and then eat, sleep again. DARN.

It Is Ok

It is a victory, not a failure, to admit my problems, acknowledge any wrong i've done, and turn to a Higher Power for help.
It is healthy to accept and love myself, and let others love me for who I am worthy of respect and love.
It is okay to trust myself and others. I can be responsible for myself, just as others can be responsible for themselves.
It is possible for me to be happy, since happiness depends on myself and my attitude, not on other people or on things.
It is possible for me to change if I set realistic goals: I can reach them one step at a time and one day at a time.
I can't do everything, or everything perfectly, but I can do something. If I fail, it's okay. There's no failure except in not trying.
It's alright to set limits to keep my sanity and serenity. It's okay to let things go that cannot be changed, or that does not matter.

*Bayanihan Class Party*

Sorry kung super gulo ng pagkwento but like, super may hangover pa ko from last night's inuman. Ang perky ng feeling ko ngayon and like hindi pa ko nakakatulog ng matino kasi nagpapalpitate ung puso ko right after ng first stick ko ng yosi, mygahhhd. Pero wala akong ma-feel na antok! Nakakapagod and at the same time, nakakatuwa!! Hahaha so happy :D
Anyway, 'yun nga. About sa last night, ayun. May class party ung Bayanihan '07 yesterday kila Ella, the ever-loving-class-president-she's-the-best-i-just-want-to-hug-her-forever!! There.
WAIT. Hindi pa tapos ung kwento. Hihi
So, the party started at 4:00pm pero I came late, not because I was feeling and pa-star which is pwede pero I have a very good excuse so medyo hindi ren. Ayun nga kasi, galing ako sa house nila mama&papa sa Alabang house kasi biglaan ung cousins ko with their, "Swimming tayo kila mama!!! Lahat pupunta, hindi pwedeng hindi." So I was like, okayyy. No choice so pumunta na ko. At nagbabad lang naman kami parang ewan. Umitim tuloy ako lalo. Argh. Tapos ayaw pa ko paalisin nila kasi ang KJ(killjoy un for those who doesn't understand baduy abbreviations) ko daw! wtf. I was like, "Hello?? Tinotopak na ba kayo? I have a party to go to, noh!" Tapos after a million explanations, chaka pa lang ako pinaalis ng mga hinayupak. So syempre naligo, nagbihis at nagayos pa ko, lintek. At galing ako sa Alabang so, ayun. Na-late nga ako. I arrived at Ella's mga 5:30pm na ata un. Pero okay lang kasi medyo konti pa lang naman ung mga tao nun. Pero nung gabi na talaga, siguro mga apat na tao nalang ung dumating. So like, konti lang talaga ung pumunta. Nevertheless, super saya pa ren. I was with Bayanihan naman kasi so, it really feels like home kahit corny, oo na. Pero totoo. :) Pati ang ingay!!! Takte. Asa kabilang kalye na ko rinig ko pa ren ung ingay. As in ung kantahan, ung usapan, tawanan at kung anu-ano pang nagccause nung ingay. So parang marami ung tao. Kaya nga masaya ngaaa!!
Tapos, may na-amin ako kay Jed habang nasa loo si niña (di naman masyadong detailed?! Sensya na, may hangover nga eh.) O ayun, na-amin ko nga tungkol sa isang batchmate namin na dati pa niya kinukulit sakin na sabihin ko na kung sino pero di ko sinasabi kasi ayaw ko mag-gossip. Pero since, graduate na, okay na yun. Hahaha Nasabi ko na eh. Hihi Tapos habang naguusap kami ni Jed, well more like nagchichismisan, nagyaya sila Mariz and Betsy na mag-"jogging". The term mga chong. Halurr?! Pagkalabas namin hagang sa nakabalik na kami kila Ella, naglakad lang kami. AS IN. In this very mabagal way pa kasi si Betsy, ung nagyaya na mag-"jogging" eh napaka ubod ng tagal. (o diba? "napaka" na nga, "ubod" pa.) Kasama nga pala namin nila Mur and Betsy si Niña, naglakad kami papunta sa Brewing Point, ang meeting place ng bayan. Wala naman kami masyadong ginawa dun. Nagyosi lang tas nag-order ng one glass ng ice coffee. Isa lang kasi nakalimutan namin lahat magdala ng wallet, buti na lang may 86pesos si Mariz sa pocket, ayun. Tapos bumalik na kami. Kakaupo ko lang sa upuan (malamang!) nagyaya naman si Rosie na magyosi. Anak ng. Ba't naman kasi hindi pa siya sumama kanina?! So lumabas nga kami kasama si Mur. Nagpunta kami sa Pearl street at umupo sa harap ng super ganda na bahay. Dapat kasi sa court kami kaso sarado na ung ilaw. So dun na lang kami sa street across the court. Hehe Astig ren naman kasi UBEhan to the max kami dun. Isang oras din ata kami nagdadaldalan dun and I must say, ang dami, dami, DAMI ko talagang nalaman. Mga lintek talaga. Kung kelan grumaduate chaka naglabasan lahat ah. Pati ang dami ko ren nalaman na batchmates na may bisyo ren na sobrang di ko inakala!! Totoo nga na ang mga tahimik na tao nasa loob ang kulo. Ayun na 'yon.
So after nun bumalik na sa bahay ni Ella, kaso pag balik namin pa-uwi na si Mrs. & Mr. Ben! I will super duper miss Mrs. Ben. Syempre pati na ren si Mr. Ben. Sayang 'di dinala ni Mrs. & Mr. Ben si Ben, ung panganay nila na anak. Heehee (The Ben Family) Pati pala si Hector!! Ung sumunod kay Ben. Super cute ng kids ni Mrs. Ben as in! O anyway, ayun na nga. Umalis na sila tapos eto namang si Betsy, may kausap dun sa front porch nila Ella, at sumisigaw siya. As in sobrang lakas, parang kala mo nasa kabilang subdi ung kausap niya. Syempre sobra ang pagtataka at pagaalala namin lahat dun noh kasi naman nabubulabog na ang buong sambayanan sa lakas ng boses ni Betsy at ang pagmumura grabe mehn. Parang wala nang bukas. Kakatakot. So 'yun, nalaman nga namin after kung sino 'yun at sobrang obvious na ren naman kahit na hindi niya sinabi noh.
Tapos naguwian naren ung mga tao habang napapasarap na ung kwentuhan namin dun. Until umalis na ren si Betsy tapos biglang may after Class Party inuman pa pala, so nagpaalam ako na wag na ko sunduin dun kila Ella.
Diretsyo na sa Grilla, Royal Place with Niña, Lia and Nikka. Nauna na dun sila Mur, Jed and Crown. At syempre nagmake-up pa kami dun sa baba diba naman dahil mukha paren kaming bata at baka hindi servan. Pero good thing, sinervan naman kami. Pero ung lalaking waiter, whom we later found out na babae pala, eh nag-ask all of a sudden kung sino samin ung below 18. Lahat kami sabay sabay turo kay Mariz. Hahahaha :)) Super funny. Pero eto pa un eh. Pinapainom namin si Mariz pag di nakatingin ung waiter na tibo. After pa ng inuman, si Mariz ung pinaka-lasing. Oh, wait mali. Siya lang pala ung nalasing. :)) Talagang siya pa eh. Buti hindi naman nahalata nung mga tao dun kasi lahat kami maingay. Although wala paren talagang tatalo sa kadaldalan ni Mariz. Kakaloka ang lola mo. Di na tumigil kakasalita at ang kanyang mga hirit, pwede ba?! I'm like, shut up na Mur. Pero ayaw magpaawat eh, talagang tuloy tuloy pa ren sa pagsasalita. Mygawwd.
Eto pa super fun talaga kasi nung mejo may tama na ren nga ako, bigla kaming nagdecide ni Nikka na makiki-jam ako dun sa band na nagpplay. So like sinulat ung name ko sa tissue paper (how very bar-ish) tapos the gay lead singer kept on saying, "Mamaya tatawagin natin si Ja." Like, 3 times pa niya ata un sinabi. Ang irritating na kasi bigla ako kinabahan. Waa. Pero super fun kasi pagkapunta ko sa stage wala pa kong song in mind so sabi ko, pwede ba ko pumili muna dun sa clearbook na dala nila. Pero may kinanta sakin ung gay lead singer na mejo alam ko at mejo hindi ren, so um-oo na ko kasi I didn't want to keep the audience waiting. Nakakahiya. Nakiki-jam na nga lang ako tapos ang tagal pa diba? So kinanta ko na, with a copy. Nung umpisa alam na alam ko kala mo kung sino ako, tapos nung nagchorus na, hindi ko na alam :)) Hahahahahahah So kumakanta ren ung lead singer pag di na ko kumakanta. Hihi. Feeling ko tuloy banda ko lang 'yun. After nun pinakanta ako ulit ng isa pang kanta na NEVER kong na-imagine na kakantahin ko in public, as in ung in front of a crowd on a stage. Pinakanta ako ng "Hawak Kamay" ni Yeng Constantino. Di ko naman hate ung song pero, nakakasira ng reputasyon :)) No offense to Yeng. Super nice ung song, okay? Ayoko lang na ako ung kakanta. Pero nakanta ko na, so ayun na. Hihi Super saya paren kasi ang iingay nila Mur habang kumakanta ako as in tili ng tili. Lumipat pa kasi sila dun sa pinakaharap na table tapos nagsisisigaw sila dun. Sabi nga nung lead singer nung band, "Wow, may fans club ka pa." I was like, "Syempre!" Tas when the song ended, super saya ko na kasi na-realize ko na super wala akong kaba na nafeel while I was performing. Super sarap ng feeling. At masaya ren ako kasi natapos na nga ang pagpapahiya ko sa sarili ko. Haha After ko, it was Nikka's turn. Di naman siya dapat kakanta kasi ang usapan nga ako lang pero super gusto namin siya mag-sing so vinolunteer namin siya. She sang "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys. We were all like, super galing Nikka!! clap clap clap. :D
After nun nag-pay na kami ng bill, scratched our elbows because according to Jed, pag daw ginawa un hindi daw papagalitan ng parents Hahaha :)) We were desperate so nagpa-uto na kami. Then we all went home na.
I got home siguro mga 2:30am na kasi we left Grilla at 2:00am eh. Super sakit na talaga ng ulo ko by the time that I got home. Buti nalang I threw up before going home kung hindi, nakow. Si Ja may tama na naman, and like super mapapagalitan na naman ako. Hey, the scratch-your-elbow-para-di-mapagalitan thing na pina-uso ni Jed actually worked. Hahaha :))

My day ends there. At sobrang hangover paren talaga ako, di lang sa lintek na tequilla na yun pero dun din sa nangyare. As in ung party and those last minute bonding sessions. Ganun. Super saya. I didn't expect it to be super fun. Hayyyyy.
Eto lang naman talaga 'yung gusto kong sabihin simula kanina pa:
"I WILL MISS IV-BAYANIHAN '07" Love you guys!!!!! *kissy kissy and huggy buggies for you all!!!!!! :D

I miss my [family]

w/ my two daughters(Mariz & Starr) and granddaughter(Jebeh)

from Lea

"don't let your world revolve around one person because if that person decides to be someone else's orbit, you're going to be left revolving wrecklessly alone."

Ang lungkot.

Ang Kasamaan ng Pagpupuyat

Kanina, bago matulog, nakita ko na naman ang kanyang sulat.
Pano ba namang hindi, eh sadyang nakadisplay ito sa lamesang nakapuwesto sa dulo ng aking kama.
Ang sulat ay may mahigit na isang taon nang nakaraan nang ito ay naisulat at hanggang ngayon, isang beses ko pa lang iyon nabasa simula nang iyon ay aking natanggap. Sa tuwing ito ay aking nakikita, may halong tuwa, kilig at kaba ang aking nadarama.

Tuwa, dahil ito ay nanggaling sa kanya.

Kilig, dahil ito ay nanggaling sa kanya.

At kaba, dahil ito ay nanggaling sa kanya.

Kinuha ko ang sulat habang nagtatalo ang aking isipan kung ito ba ay aking babasahin muli o hindi.
Isang malakas na batok ang aking natamo mula kay Micko. Sukdulang napakalakas ng kanyang pagkabatok na ako'y nauntog sa dulong kahoy ng aking kama. Napuno ng bituin at constellations ang aking kuwarto sa tindi ng hilo na aking naramdaman. As in parang outerspace!
Malaking pasasalamat na lang at binawi ng aking mga magulang ang kanilang sinabi na si Micko ang ipinangakong lalaki sa akin, kung hindi, battered-wife ang abot ko sa kanya. Grabe, ang brutal.
Pagkatapos ko makakita ng mga bituin, si Micko ay nagsalita, "Basahin mo na kung babasahin mo. Hindi 'yung gabi gabi na lang tinititigan mo 'yan. Nagpapakatanga ka sa isang sulat!"
Maryosep. Tama ang brutal na lalaki.
Tumigil ka, gaga, isa lang 'yang sulat.
Kaya binuksan ko naman ang sulat at nagsimulang magbasa. Pagkadating sa dulo kung nasaan ang kanyang nakapirmang pangalan, ang mata ko ay sukdulang magang maga na.
Ito ang kinatatakutan ko sa pagbasa ng kanyang sulat. Hindi ang pag-iyak kundi ang magiging rason ng aking pag-iyak.
Ako ay nakaramdam ng matinding panghihinayang at pagsisisi (hindi ba't magkapareho lang 'yun?). Mukhang hanggang dito na lang dahil ito ay isa sa mga maraming kamalian na malabo nang maayos.
Kaya pinunasan ko ang aking mga mata at mukha na nagmistulang swimming pool ng luha, lumabas sa veranda at nagyosi.
Ngunit anak ng! Ayaw magpaawat ng mga namamaga kong mga mata at tuluyan itong lumuha, dahil alam kong kahit na ilang yosi ang hithitin ko, hindi ko na maibabalik ang dati niyang nararamdaman para sa akin.

Nang dahil sa sulat, nawasak na naman ang buhay ko.

Nang dahil sa sulat, nawala na naman ako sa aking sarili.

Nang dahil sa sulat, naramdaman ko na mahal ko parin pala siya.

Nang dahil lang sa sulat.

I miss ate Minmin

From: Ms. Lagud's blog
Published on: July 24, 2004
Title: i love...

i love my advisory class. i love the 50 souls under the section II-Banaag, schoolyear 2004-2005. they may get to the nerves of most teachers because they say they're difficult to discipline, but i don't know why i understand them. i sometimes fear that it may be because i don't know how to get mad and i'm tolerating their misbehavior but i think they're really not as bad as they seem to be. you just have to get their attention, make them realize that you understand them and then connect with them -- ika nga, kunin ang loob nila. (haay, one more week before the start of my classes in moving from childhood to adulthood, 'hope i'll really get to learn more about teens these days) i just wish that whenever the teachers complain about them -- "haay, ang ingay ng Banaag!", "yang si __ kausapin mo ha, ganito na naman ang ginawa", "disaster na naman ang Banaag"; they also remember how they did when they had their retreat. i was so proud of them then. they gave their best at the celebration of the Mass... what a beautiful rendition of Panunumpa during Communion! as gratitude to their parents, they prepared a wonderful presentation. they remembered to thank me and gave me flowers too :) i hope that the teachers keep in mind too that they are capable of winning (e.g. in the poster-making contest, in a group activity in one of the level talks) hehe, i thus always remember the words: "he has the face only a mother can love." others may call them the worst bunch of sophomores, but i'll always be there for them :) i just hope that even after this year, or their high school graduation, or their college graduation, or 10/20/50 or so years from now, they'll still remember me, because i will always have a special place in my heart for them :)

Aww!!!! Same goes here Ms. Lagud. II-Banaag extremely misses you!
btw, thanks for the round thingy for the ID..it's soooo sweet and touching.
love you ms!!!

It's not about you. It's about them.

Yesterday, March 27, 2007, I have witnessed a very dramatic hostage-taking by a man who was asking for education for the children who are penniless. He took over a bus with 154 innocent children in it and mercilessly put their lives at risk. I cannot believe how selfish a man like him could get but at the same time, his purpose for doing that stupid thing was for the sake of others and not just for him. He wanted to give those children education because as much as he wanted to help them financially just to send them to school, he does not have enough money to do so.
But engaging himself into a scandalous drama such as hostaging 154 INNOCENT (and for Pete's sake..) little children!! It's such a stupid, stupid thing to do, and no matter what his intention was, may it be for the children or whoever, it still is SELFISH.
I felt so bad for the little kids. Damn. Kawawa naman sila!!!!!!
At an early age they got traumatized. All because of that man's selfishness.
HE KNEW BONG REVILLA AND CHAVIT SINGSON!! So why in the world did he have to do that? He could've just asked for their help.
I hate him. I hate him so so so so soooooo much. Because I have a great care for little children. The ones they so often say who are, "Ang pag-asa ng bayan. Sakanila nakasalalay ang kinabukasan ng Pilipinas." All of those words are just words if they disrespect those little kid's poor innocent lives.
He could've done it in a better, more quiet and less scandalous way but he didn't.
I even watched the live news coverage from CNN. Not from a local TV station, even though the news was on every local channel. The other countries will see AGAIN how stupid we, Filipinos, are. Naku, nadamay nanaman tayo.

300

From a very gay Multiply entry:

Aahaaay chorva!Di kinaya ng powers ko ang kahotness ng movieness na itetch! It's raining men! (haleluya)! like go go go mga anik anik at ang mga mudra mega taray ang haba ng hair production number clothing designer eklavu powerness! kaboom!It's like go papa spartans! go delisyus fighting karne! i get so weak on the knees i can't hardly breath go go go! spapartans make bugbog the evil persia! make warla the queen xerxes.

At antaray naman ng lolaaaaaa xerxes mooooooo! nagmamaasim ang fingerlets ng hinawakan si spapartan head papa! ang entrance pang vilma with matching solid gold dancers itetch! with diamente ala maricel! wiiinnneeeeeer! ang eye brows ha! mega shoot to the stratosphere sa katarayan!

Ang warlahan ditetch daig pa ang rineregla sa dami ng vlood! at ang nacut neck na cutie spartan...nag cryola aketch! di kinaya ng emoticons ko ang death by tamponess ng cutie spartan. huhuhu.

I'm sure proud si mother ricky dahil ang ganduuuuuuuuh talaga ng movieng itetch. like super mega walang halong chorva!

PERO LYER SILA! binilang ko ang mga papa...di umabot ng 300. 127 lang ang mga spapartans! etchos!=)) =)) =))

HAHAHAHAHAHA okayyyyyyy.

How gay can this movie review get?! =)) soooooooo fannnnyyyyy :))

E7ite RocksMyWorld

I'm officially an Alumna of The School of the Holy Spirit of Quezon City!!! Yay!! Party Partaaaaay!!

"I did it I did it, oh yeah yeah yeah!!! No eating for tonight wooo eating for tonight! No no no eating for tonight! We're on a diet!"

Hahahaha :))

So so so HAPPY!!!!

Last night when we were singing our graduation songs, I looked at my batchmates and they were crying!!! Mygawwwd. I thought my feelings and emotions froze and my heart turned into a rock! Waaa.

But no. The truth is, I was just super duper happy!! Because, Hello??? Tonight is our graduation and that sooo means that we're sooo free!!

I must admit, leaving the school after the graduation rites last night was somewhat hard but I my stomach growled with emptiness, so I left. Hahaha But seriously, I miss my school and I will forever miss it :)

Oh yeah, when we were singing the School Hymn I suddenly fell from the platform/beam where I was standing on. Mygod!! So I just laughed and laughed and laughed the whole entire song and even after it I was still laughing. Good thing no one saw, I think, because no one commented on it. Hahaha I wonder if my boyfriend saw it. hmm? Shoot. It's so embarrassing.

Gagraduate na nga lang mahuhulog pa sa platform. Anak ng tepok nga naman...Arghhhh.

ooohh..VAINNNNNNNNN.

Who do they think they're fooling?!

That assface told our CL teacher that we're not working together in the Social Doctrines project.
True.
She also said that she approached me TWICE.
False.
And she has already made the project.

What the teacher said?
"Yung project ni Rosa tatanggapin ko kasi nag-approach naman siya kay Ja. Pero 'yung project ni Ja hindi ko tatanggapin kung mag-isa niya 'yun ginawa."
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! That is downright favoritism right at our faces.

How stupid can that decision be? I mean, the 'other girl' clearly stated that she has already made the project. What the hell am I supposed to do?? Talk to her like there's no problem and tell her that, "Yeah, okay. Put OUR names in that project because I contributed a LOT!!"

Whatever. I passed the required project and if she does not want to accept it, then Good! If I get a failing grade in CL because of that, even better!

I am so sorry to say this but, I really can't believe that she became a teacher in the School of the Holy Spirit of Q.C. If she was in a public school, that I may believe, but in Holy?! My god!! Can she just stop pretending that she's such a good teacher?? Better yet, she can just quit her job. I don't think anybody in our batch thinks that she's soooooooo good. The world needs a miracle before that happens.

As for the 'other girl', STOP LYING and stop PRETENDING.
You try to show the people that you are such a fucking nice girl, but the truth is you are not.
You talk behind someone else's back, you lie about EVERYTHING, you steal girlfriends (yes, people. She is a lesbian.), and you irritate me!!!
Stop pretending that you're okay because it totally shows that you are not.


You're messing with the wrong girl.

Projects galore

PHYSICS
Investigatory Project Oral Defense
March 2

CL
Social Doctrines
March 1

MUSIC
Finale
March 2

COMPUTER
Website design
March 12

ENGLISH
Social Action Paper
March 1

HEALTH
Research paper and reporting
March 1

TEENSTAR
Personal Response
March 9

Goodluck to me!!!
This is torture I tell you. It's torture!!!

my JTM speech

ANOREXIA, it is an eating disorder where people starve themselves because they have an intense fear of becoming fat. It mainly affects adolescent girls who are very skinny but are convinced that they are overweight.
I have been with people who are suffering from anorexia and believe me, it is NOT a pretty sight to see skin and bones walking around you. They do not eat nor drink anything and I even heard one of them say, "Ayaw ko ng pagkain. Kadiri naman." They were unbelievable because they are skin and bones, right? And so, I am forced to swallow my hunger or else they would rant about how disgusting food is, or...or how fat they are, all day long. I could not convince them that they are NOT FAT because i'm telling you, if you were in my place, you would think that eating was a crime.
I think eating disorders are somewhat influential because after a year of being with my anorexic friends, I suffered from my own eating disorder which was bulimia.
In my own eating disorder, which I struggled with for five long months, my weight went up and down and all around. My suffering was VERY real and my distorted body image insisted I was fat. I was still eating, large amounts of food and then I would throw it all up secretly. But then I realized that this was a "no win" situation because no matter how hard you may try, you cannot ever be "done". Plus, there are a lot of medical risks associated with eating disorders that include: shrunken bones, irregular heartbeat, permanent failure of normal growth, development of osteoporosis, and a lot more.
Excessive dieting and too much conciousness of ones body size may lead to a case of eating disorder. Being concious and aware of your body is not bad but when it gets too much and you start abusing your body, that's the time when you should stop and think, "Am I really taking care of myself?"
You don't have to torture yourself. I mean, do you find people or girls who are skinny, I mean REALLY skinny, pretty?? What, with their bones out and everything...Well, you get the picture. I don't think so. So i think we should be aware of what we do to our body and really start taking care of ourselves, because be it cliche or not, it is still our inner selves that matters most.

how weird...

Koko, walked up to me this morning and told me, "'Ja, ang ganda mo naman nung Friday.' from someone."

wtf

English Musical Play

Today was incredibly tiring. Why? Well, try performing a musical play 5 consecutive times in front of 5 different audience that you have to impress because they will be judges for the broadway category.
But, whatever. The play was super duper fun and even though we commited a lot of mistakes and bloopers that were blatantly obvious to the audience, i can still say that it was really a success. Oh, and someone told me that we came in second place so even though we did not win, at least we're not the last placer. :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE CAST:

Cast A

Psyche- Angela Bascara

Cupid- Trixie Neri

Aphrodite- Janelle Gapasin

Zeus- Bettina Rodriguez

Eurydne- Lia Santos

Tanith- Nikka Ponce de Leon

Mother- Sharmaine Templado

Father- Eleonor Japzon

Hera- Francesca Dela Cruz

Apollo- Frances Magturo

Suitors-Angela Arguelles

- Jennifer Lopez

- Anna Ignacio

Ant- Patricia Talaue

Dancers- Pristine Fajardo

- Francesca Dela Cruz

- Patricia Talaue

Cast B

Psyche- Sharmaine Templado

Cupid- Anna Ignacio

Aphrodite- Francesca Dela Cruz

Zeus- Bettina Rodriguez

Eurydne- Lia Santos

Tanith- Nikka Ponce de Leon

Mother- Angela Bascara

Father- Eleonor Japzon

Hera- Janelle Gapasin

Apollo- Frances Magturo

Suitors- Angela Arguelles

- Jennifer Lopez

- Trixie Neri

Ant- Patricia Talaue

Dancers- Pristine Fajardo

- Francesca Dela Cruz

- Patricia Talaue

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the second show, our director, Betsy-yuh (a.k.a. Sexy-yuhhh), together with Mrs. Benitez and Niña, decided that we should stick to the main cast which is cast A. And so we did. But the main cast's Psyche has no voice so the cast B's Psyche was our Psyche for the 4 remaining shows.
The bloopers were endless but forgiveable. Some of it were:
*me as Aphrodite slipped on the blankets on the floor on my way to Zeus
*Nikka's wig coming off her head while singing
*Chesca as a dancer fell FLAT on the floor (this gets the Yikes! factor)
*Angel, our main Psyche, has sorethroat and she CAN'T sing
*I keep on forgetting Hera's cue with lines and songs
and many, many, many MORE...


But I love it.
It's a musical play. I got to act, sing and dance all at the same time and that's all that matters to me.

dramarama

Really. I don't.

BIG PROBLEM

Today's events:
*School Fair- Baila performer
*Abs-Cbn Fundraising- Band performer

Venue:
*Baila- School of the Holy Spirit, Gymnasium
*Gig- Dish, The Loop @ Abs-Cbn

Call time:
*Baila- 2:00pm
*Gig- 5:00pm

Time of performance:
*Baila- 6:00pm
*Gig- 7:00pm

Baila or Dish gig? Baila or Dish gig? Baila or Dish gig??????
Ohmy. I am going to dance in the first number in the Baila and my band is the front act at the Dish. I NEED to runnnnn!!!!!

Lord God, Kayo na po ang bahala.





I am going to lose it.